I apologize that is has taken me so long to update my blog. The cell reception is my village has not been that great and frankly, there hasn't been too much to say, lol.
Tuesday, February 24 - Thursday, March 5:
Tuesday’s training was more of answering many questions. I tried to have a movie night that night but I don’t think many were interested.
Wednesday I got up early to hike north. Shimon, the guy currently running the center, walked with me to the road. We had become friends over the past few days and he wanted to see me off.
Once out of town I was picked up by a policeman going to Otjiwarongo. It was a pleasant ride and he introduced me to Lucky Dube - a reggae artist from South Africa. He dropped me at the Engin there and within 15 minutes a German guy named Olf picked me up to drop me in Otavi. We had an amazing conversation - he was so progressive in his thinking. He even asked me if I had ever heard of ‘The Secret’, lol.
After about 30 minutes he offered to take me all the way to Groot. He claimed he just hadn’t driven it in awhile and wanted to see it…I think he was just a good guy and wanted to take me as far north as feasibly possible. Once in Groot - at the Total - I warded off the combi drivers - many who recognized me and immediately said, ‘oh, you’re going to free hike, yes’. About an hour passed (and I began to dread the black hole that is Groot), when Oliver and Eva - two german tourists - gave me a lift to Rundu. What’s funny, is that when they stopped for me and I introduced myself (without my name), they said…’are you Chaz?’. I was like..what the hell! They recognized me from couch surfing and said they had thought about contacting me but weren’t initially planning on going this far north in Namibia. We talked a bit and then I fell asleep.
In Rundu I went to the TRC and tried to make arrangements for transport the following day back to my village. I wanted a truck so that I could get some more fruit trees for the clinic. It wasn’t going to work out this time, so I planned on just hiking. I found out later that day that Tina, one of our Caprivi kids was heading back to the states and was coming through Rundu the next night. I really needed to get back to site and have a day to prepare for the theater but I also wanted to say goodbye. I opted to stay another night in Rundu.
It so happened that Sarah was coming in for the same reason and Juice was on his way to Okahandja, so we had a great time sending Tina home. She will be missed.
The next morning, I got up early to get back to site as quickly as I could. Sarah was going to hike with me but then a learner from the combined school that Lindsey taught at, had lost his mother the day before and she stayed behind to console and help him make arrangements. I can’t even imagine being 17, the eldest, and having to deal with the loss of my mom AND make all the arrangements.
I got a hike very quickly to Nkurenkuru from a driver that recognized me. Once there, it took about 90 minutes before I landed one the rest of the way to Mpungu. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and getting things ready for the next day.
Saturday morning we had out HIV Awareness Event which went well as usual. I have noticed that the last few events, not many people from the community show up. I am very eager for our clinic to get rapid testing for HIV so that we can take our event down into the community, instead of having it at the clinic.
We had a great lunch - people were happy to get meat for lunch, lol - and then I want to put up hooks for the movie screen and test the projector and sound system. We were set to go. Sarah was supposed to arrive on Friday but because of helping Franz, she arrived later today. She cooked dinner while I went to set up for the big event. It was sort of hard to believe that after a year of ‘preparation’, that the theater was finally happening.
At 6:30 I was happy to look around and see many more people than I had originally planned! We had a great turn out and I almost teared up when the HIV+ members of our groups stood up to talk about their status. I hope we can make waves against the stigma in this village with this theater.
At the end of the movie, everyone clapped and they all said they enjoyed it very much. One tate said it was ‘sweet’, lol. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that on next Saturday, when we charge money, that people will show up.
Sarah left on Sunday and I spent the rest of the day chilling out. Monday came and went with me doing paperwork and preparing for the week ahead. Tuesday’s OVC group was great - I was able to give them teddy bears from Mother Bear and toothbrushes and toothpaste from Colgate. Later that day, two couch surfers - Jessica and Michael - arrived from the northwest side. I had originally thought they were from Italy. However, they were both American - though Jess had been living in Italy for the past year. They have traveled extensively and are making their way through Africa.
The next few days I had a blast hangin out with them and showing them a little of my village. They were perfect guests and it was awesome to have visitors. They talked at length about their travels and made it sound so easy. I cannot WAIT to travel when I finish here. Sometimes I think that I should if I had had the money, I should have travel for a couple of years instead of joining PC. I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed my experience and continue to do so, I just think I was looking for an adventure more than I was a ‘purpose’…does that make sense?
In the midst of my life here, I’ve been reading ‘The 4 Agreements’. I’ve read it before and loved it but for some reason it has more meaning to me now. I’ve just finished reading and re-reading the chapter on ‘Be Impeccible with Your Word’. It talks about how harmful the words we use can be to others AND ourselves. I know that I’ve always been very self-critical, but it’s very easy for me to criticize myself in the form of a joke if I mess up in the presence of others. I need to stop doing that. I need to stop calling myself stupid. I need to stop reinforcing the idea that I don’t have good memory. I need to DEFINITELY stop reinforcing the idea that I ‘don’t know what I’m doing’ or ‘don’t know how to do this or that’.
I’ve just gotten a couple of pages into the next chapter entitled ‘Don’t Take Things Personally’. The first thing that came to mind was my interaction with the other volunteers in my village. I realized that because my emotions were on a rollercoaster and my self-esteem was in the gutter - when I first arrived - that I was in serious VICTIM MODE. I SO wanted someone to take care of me and when the other PCVs here or VSOs didn’t behave like I felt they should have or I felt like I needed, I blamed them. I took all their words and all their actions painfully personally. They were all just being themselves…it was me feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Friday, March 6 - Monday 16:
Can this be right? Can it really have been 10 days since I’ve written in my journal? Honestly…this doesn’t make sense to me. My only excuse is that I’ve been busy and nothing ‘special’ has happened. I guess I get tired of writing the same thing every day - ‘well, not much happened today’. They did warn us during training that part way through our second year we will reach a time when the monotony and routine will set in. I suppose it has for me because I’m still confused as to why I haven’t written.
I went to Nkurenkuru last Friday night just to do some grocery shopping. I stayed with Caleb and Rachel instead of Sarah, because she was still in Windhoek. It was fun. The world teach volunteers came in from Nankudu and Rachel made pizza. Yum. We played ‘You Don’t Know Jack’ which was a blast. I came home the next day for the theater. I showed ‘The Matrix’ which they loved. I still need to figure out how to get the learners from the secondary school to attend. They get locked in on the weekends and the principal doesn’t want to let them go for fear they will go to the shebeens. I get it…I just don’t know how to work around it.
I have introduced ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ to my supervisor and another nurse. They now come over every Monday night to watch 2 episodes. It’s fun to watch it with them. I gotta go now cause they are on their way.
Tuesday, March 17 - Monday, March 23:
All I can say is…time is flying. I think that I’ve only missed a day or possibly two of writing and I pull up the journal to see it’s been about a week.
Recap:
Last Tuesday none of my primary OVCs showed up. I had no idea why. Then I found out the next day it’s because someone told them at the school that the afternoon program was cancelled. I typed up a list of all the names and submitted it to the primary school so we wouldn’t have a problem. On Wednesday, my older ones showed up so that was fine. On Thursday I tried to have a meeting but many of the members of the committee were missing without apologies. We were going to plant in the garden, but they voted to wait until this week.
I explained to them that the garden was once again dying because of people’s lack of commitment to the watering. I gave them til the end of April to pull it together or I was going to switch to individual gardens at people’s homes. There is no sense in me putting in the energy if it’s not being received.
Thursday afternoon I caught a ride to Nkurenkuru to hang out with Sarah until we went to Zone on Saturday morning for Independence. Thursday night we hung out with the 3 Finnish volunteers who were there on a ‘missionary’ study program. None of them want to be actual missionaries, but they came for the experience. They were fun, we had great food, watched their slide show and said our goodbyes.
Friday, Sarah and I hung out. I watched the ‘Che’ movie and ‘Milk’ - which made me cry. That night we played some cribbage and went to bed. The next morning we went to Zone with tate Ndadi and a nane from the clinic. The festivities were nice and my friend Dorothy was there with her daughter. It was great to catch up with her. The drama and the music was awesome. VIVA INDEPENDENCE!!
Saturday I came back to site because of the theater. I had planned on cancelling it because I figured everyone would be busy. Fanuel told me that we had to have it cause many people would be visiting Mpungu and would want to see a movie. Well…about 10 showed up, lol. Thanks Namibia!
Sunday was spent chilling out and doing a bunch of nothing. Today, we launched our feeding program for ARV clinic and it went great. We had about 6 people show up to eat and then we sold off the remaining food. I think it’s going to be a great success.
Tuesday, March 24 - Thursday, March 26:
The last few days have been busy, productive, and exhausting. I LOVE it! The highlight occurred yesterday. I was working with my OVCs and I had given them some math problems to work out. Hogan, the little boy of the new nurse who lives in the flat next door to the room I use for my group, was playing around outside. He and I are becoming good friends. I went to pick him up and was carrying him around, when I felt something wet on my arm. I just thought he had a wet bottom...but, no. I looked behind him and he had literally FILLED his diaper with shit and by picking him up and sitting him on my arm I had forced it up and out and all over myself. Now…that in itself is pretty funny. BUT!...his poop looked EXACTLY like guacamole. NO LIE! It was the exact color green with some red dots that could have been bell pepper. It seriously looked so much like guacamole that I had to smell it to make sure it wasn’t. How on earth he could have possibly had guacamole on his backside is beyond me…but it was SO realistic looking. Lol. I’m still laughing about it.
Tonight I made dinner for the VSOs and we had great conversation. They are good people. I know that I had my issues with them and the other PCVs here in Mpungu when I first arrived but I think most of that was my own stuff. The culture shock, loneliness, homesickness, etc. just amplified everything and made me so super sensitive. Dinah made an interesting comment about how it feels when you first arrive. She used the word ‘fragile’ and that’s the perfect word for it. I felt so fragile for the first 6 months and I just wanted, needed, someone to take care of me. Whew, I’m glad I’ve moved past that.
Friday, March 27 - Sunday, March 29:
Friday I spent some well needed time in the pharmacy. I haven’t stepped foot inside it since last year. Fortunately it wasn’t in that bad of shape but I keep telling Lyambezi he needs to stay on the nurses about keeping the forms orderly and neat. That night Lyambezi brought over ‘We Were Soldiers’ to watch. I’ve been enjoying hanging out with him lately cause we have sort of crossed that line of being ‘uncomfortable’ around each other. We can now joke and he actually gets some of my American sarcasm.
Saturday was a LONG day. We had our Awareness Event in the morning. It went really well but I lost my patience with some of the kids. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. I had added MANY more prizes to the condom box game and so that became the center of attention for everyone. I introduced a new game with colored ping pong balls - everyone seemed to enjoy it. I chilled out the rest of the day and then headed to the church for movie night. I really do enjoy movie night but find myself getting stressed a bit about it. People from the project are supposed to be coming to the movie so that they can learn to run the equipment and man the door. What ends up happening is only Selma comes, she mans the door until the movie starts and then wants to watch the show. I don’t blame her, it just means I am constantly answering the door when someone knocks to be let in or out. I really think we need to switch the time to earlier in the day. That way more people would come (so they could get home before dark) and it would be easier to man the door, with light. When Shimon comes to visit after Easter, we need to look into making curtains for the church.
Sunday was a TOTAL chill day with a two hour walk, some yoga, a movie, some reading and Damien, Thomas, and Willem stopped by for help on their EWA and Diversity Tour applications.
I’ve reached a point in my service where I have accepted what I am able and not able to do. My one concern still seems to be sustainability. Of the projects that I am involved in…which ones, if any, will continue after I leave? The garden seems to be on a downward slide and I have a feeling that by the end of April, it will be gone and it will be one less thing I have to worry about. I don’t feel bad or blame myself for it failing…there was just not enough energy and interest in having it in the first place. I’m starting to feel that way about the theater. Nobody (except Selma) from the group, is attending Saturday nights. So once I leave, will it even happen? All of this takes me back to when I first got here. As a PCV I am supposed to evaluate the needs of the community and see what is wanted. I feel I did that - to the best of my ability - for the first several months, with no one coming to me with ideas. Even at this point, people (from the group or outside of) don’t ever say ‘hey, let’s do this or that’. Everyone still seems to wait around until Chaz comes up with something to do. I know this isn’t at the heart of capacity building and sustainability. But what am I to do? Just do nothing and continue to wait until someone has an idea. I feel by coming up with suggestions that I am leading by example. I feel like I have tried to inspire people, but to no avail. All that said, 2 people within my community have come to me in the last week and either said that I should extend or that I will be sorely missed when I go.
The only way to interpret that is that I am doing a good job. Whew. This really IS about letting go of any pre-conceived ideas about accomplishment and success. Where I see failure, the people here have seen growth. Hmmm.
Monday, March 30 - Thursday, April 2:
A busy and productive week. The highlight was playing a spelling game with my older OVCs. Damien - my favorite, was racking up the points and I could see the soccer ball he has been saving them for - gleaming in his eye.
I had some interesting conversations with a few people from the village. They both, in their own way, talked about the ‘laziness’ of most of the people in the community and how no one has the motivation to change their lives. One was a younger guy, about 25. The other, an older tate of 62. It was interesting hearing them talk though because I’ve had my own opinions about these subjects but because of culture, never felt like I had a right to say anything. It was a bonding moment for me and them as well as a little validation that what I’ve been feeling has been correct.
I did have yet another issue with Fanuel, the counselor. Veronica, his wife, is the one that is running the sewing business. I’ve been explaining to her - since last November - about her loan payment and that SHE is running the business, not me. That it is a business and not a ‘project’. Well, she is constantly late with her payment and I guess this week I had had it. I, once again, met with her and Fanuel to explain for the umpteenth time, about the repayment schedule. Ironically, my friend Ruben was here cause we were both waiting for a ride to Nkurenkuru. As I was going through everything again and Fanuel was translating…Ruben butted in (thank God). And said a bunch of stuff in Rukwangali that made Veronica finally ‘get it’. After they left, I walk talking to Ruben about my frustration with having to explain things over and over when I feel like I’m simplifying them as best as I can. He said, you were saying things perfectly, Fanuel was mis-translating what you were saying to Veronica. He kept telling her that they money she owes back is YOUR money and that it was YOUR money that funded the business. He hadn’t been telling her that I was just a mediator. I’ve lost SO much faith in Fanuel over the past year and it just sickens me to think that he has possibly been mis-translating me this whole time for his own good. Either to make himself look good or to benefit him and his family. SHIT!
On a better note…after they left, Ruben and I got into a conversation and he brought up all these great ideas for the community and I shared some of mine and we have decided to work together to do a BUNCH of stuff. The money Eileen gave me is going to be stretched into MANY awesome projects now. Between Ruben and the other Fanuel’s motivation for community work, I am truly pumped to accomplish a TON in the next 8 months!
Friday, April 3 - Sunday, April 5:
Friday day sort of dragged on. I spent a little time in the pharmacy, organizing a bit. Then I basically took the rest of the day off since my evening was filled with taking the movie theater to the school. On time as usual, Alex showed up at my house to take Claudia, Ester, Fanuel and I to the school. When we arrived, the students cleared out and some of the older male learners helped us move the tables against the windows and set up the chairs. At first, no learners were lining up to pay to get in and I was a bit concerned. I finally decided to send someone out to let them know that the movie would start at exactly 7:30. During that time, I did some questions for sweets about HIV/AIDS with the few that had meandered in.
At the time we started the movie, there was only about 20 kids in the hall. I had a brief (very brief) moment where I thought, ‘what a waste of time’. But as the movie progressed, the learners arrived. At the end of the night, we had made N$150.00! I was stoked! I asked the kids after if they enjoyed it and would like us to come more often. They said yes. If we go twice a month and add N$300 to our feeding program, we’ll have no problem feeding everyone on Monday’s list! And, we should be able to afford to buy apples and other things besides just serving mutete and yisima.
Saturday I slept in, did some yoga and read before the theater. Tonight’s movie was King Kong and I at first was worried that they might not like it. Boy…was I wrong! They LOVED it! They completely got that Naomi Watt’s character was making the beast laugh. They cheered loudly when he beat the dinosaurs and saved the girl. And when he fell off the Empire State building? There was a quiet ‘oh’ that spread through the crowd. Man, I love this project!!!!!
Sunday was a seriously chilled day with a long walk in the morning, much reading in the afternoon and ended with watching a movie with Fanuel and Jaffet.
Monday, April 6 - Monday, April 13:
Monday through Thursday of this past week was busy just finishing up stuff with OVCs and project meetings. On Tuesday, I did go to a meeting in Dakuwa - a village about 10k into the bush from Mpungu. They are wanting to build a kindergarten there. I thought initially that they wanted an actual building. This concerned me because of the time frame in which I have to accomplish this. However, they are planning on building a large hut with a fence and they just want help with books, chalkboard, chairs, etc. to make it nice. This, is very doable. I am going to use the PCPP to ‘get er done’.
I was really anxious about leaving site on Thursday, so the first part of the week is sort of a blur. Thursday I rode into Rundu with the VSOs. I went to the TRC to download stuff and check email. I then caught up with everyone else. Most of the 27ers crashed at Rachel’s while the 28ers and 3rd years stayed with Ben. Over the weekend we cooked together, played games, had a braai at the Bavaria and enjoyed one another’s company. My friend Shimon came up from Windhoek and is actually coming back to Mpungu with me for a week. He wants to see what my life is like in the village and needs a vacation. He will help me with some small projects.
On Saturday, he and I ran errands most of the day. I had a lot of things I needed to buy the OVCs for their point awards. I also needed to buy things for the garden, for the theater. It was an exhausting day but oddly fun. It reminded me of running errands in the states a little. I got to buy clothes, shoes, backpacks, things like that for the OVCs…so it felt a little like Christmas.
Yesterday, we got a hike early and headed back. It was long and hot cause we were in the back of a bakki. We arrived, unpacked a shitload of food and stuff I had purchased for the OVCs and settled in. It’s good to be home.
Tuesday, April 14 - Monday, April 20:
Routine…routine…routine. That’s what my life has boiled down to. That’s fine…I am happy with it…trust me. This past week went off with not much out of the ordinary. I did have a moment while watering the guava trees behind my house where a very large snake slithered past me. I froze. I just stood there saying ‘f’k’ under my breathe until it got far enough away to where I could move.
Shimon hung out this whole week (he left on Saturday morning). It was really nice to have the company and of course, with him being a vegan chef…I ate better in these 6 days then I have since I arrived. Fresh mushrooms, peppers, coconut…all sorts of things I can never buy because they are too expensive.
Saturday we had our monthly HIV Awareness event and it was great. We had it in the community at Ester’s place…instead of at the clinic. MANY more people came to it and it was very successful. I came back to rest a bit before the movie. OH…I forgot to mention that on Wednesday’s free movie night, I showed a couple music videos that I had downloaded. In hindsight I probably should have been a bit more careful in the ones I chose, but they seemed to enjoy them. I showed Brittany’s Spear’s ‘Womanizer’ - I had forgotten how risqué it was. I don’t think they’ve seen anything like it, lol - I’m still waiting for the repercussions of it from the community.
I showed ’30 Days of Night’ on Saturday and they were really scared. I was great fun watching them scream and then laugh at themselves. I had to turn away a guy who was drunk…fortunately he didn’t put up much of a fuss.
Sunday I hung out with Damien, Thomas, William and Salom. I introduced them to ‘Uno’ and they loved it. Today we had the feeding program. The cooking part went well, but there are still a lot of people who won’t come and get the food because they are worried about being seen by the community. We ended up having a lot left over - and I hate throwing food out. We didn’t have anyone come and buy food today either. My other dilemma is that there are employees of the clinic that hang around waiting for us to finish because they know there will be food left over and we will probably give it to them. This angers me. First, they have jobs…they can afford the N$3 that we are charging to support the program. Second, these are people that don’t really do their jobs. They just complain all the time. For example, when we said we had yisima left over, the one female security guard said she was starving and wanted some. When she realized it was JUST yisima and she wasn’t getting anything else with it, she turned up her nose and said she didn’t want it. If you are ‘starving’ you would eat any food anyone handed to you. I get this attitude a lot and it just angers me. I try to be patient and understanding, but I can’t handle the un-appreciativeness.
On Saturday, we had purchased meat for the afternoon meal. We didn’t get it in time, so decided to freeze it and cook it Monday with the feeding program. When we went to use it today, it was spoiled. I hadn’t looked at the bag on Saturday…I just stuck it in the freezer. Well, this started an entire day of stress. Trying to track down who we bought the meat from in order to get a refund. Then, them coming and saying they would pay us back and turning around a few hours later and saying they would not. Then, of course, I needed Fanuel to come into the picture as a translator and he completely mis-represented me to the people involved, which escalated the drama. I have really lost all trust and faith in him and would rather not have to do anything ‘through’ him any more. I feel as though he has been shooting me in the foot this past year. The other Fanuel has volunteered to take on that role for me, so hopefully there won’t be any more issues like this. I have so little time left and want to be ‘drama’ free.
I leave on Wednesday for Rundu, then Windhoek, then a few weeks of holiday before hiking fish river. I won’t have my computer, so I will try to write down what’s going on while I am gone.
Tuesday, April 21 - Monday, April 27:
I hiked to Rundu on Wednesday then got up early to head to Windhoek the next day. I headed to the hike point with a positive attitude and got a hike within the hour. He was only going to drop me in Kombat, but he drove me all the way to Otavi cause he said I’d have a better chance finding a hike there. I literally got out of his car, used the bathroom and walked to the road when a car pulled over and it was Jeff, the former director of PC Namibia. In total, I made it to Windhoek in under 7 hours.
I met up with Shimon and we went to see ‘Underworld’. I should have passed on the movie cause I didn’t realize how tired I was, but it was still enjoyable. The next day we went into town to run some errands and drop my bags at Jan Jonker. The day was productive. After lunch I left Shimon to meet up with the other PCVs. VSN and Diversity tour was in town. We went to Primi for dinner. The next day we began VSN training for the 2 new members. The day went well and then Shimon came over and we cooked dinner while everyone else went out.
Sunday was more training and then I spent a chilled night at the flat watching TV.
Today was more errand s- ordering T-shirts, heading to the movies only to discover the movie I wanted to see wasn’t playing. I came back to the Tabitha Center , had dinner and now it’s time to crash.
Tuesday, April 28:
Got up, packed and organized and walked to the highway to hike to Swakopmund. I wasn’t out there for more than 5 minutes before I got a lift to Okahandja. I got stuck there for a few hours (I blame it on not having my sign, lol). Finally, I got a lift all the way. Good conversation and air conditioning. What more can you ask for?
I arrived at the TRC just as Leslie was finishing up. We walked back to her place, chatted and caught up and I ran to the grocery store to stock up for the week and then we had dinner. During and after dinner we talked more. I love Leslie and really enjoy our conversations. We had this great talk about life, self-acceptance, PC, our personal journeys, etc. I’m looking forward to just hanging out here this week. I had wanted to explore the northwest but I’d really rather just veg. I’ll save my energy for Fish River!
Wednesday, April 29 - Saturday, May 2:
I’ve thoroughly enjoy just chilling out here in Swakopmund. On Thursday, I met a guy named Hilton at a clothing store. We clicked so decided to have dinner later that day. It was great conversation and mediocre Chinese food.
On Friday, I hiked to Walvis to explore and meet up with Gideon - remember, he’s my guy from Mpungu that moved here last year. His wife had a new baby since he left. It was great catching up with him. I was also able to visit with Karel for a bit - who is also living there.
I then met up with Hilton who drove me all over Walvis. We then went for pizza where I enjoyed a conversation about lesbians and vibrators with a group of colored people. Now, I can hear all my American friends ‘gasp’ after reading that. But here in Namibia, there are 3 distinct types of people - blacks, whites, and coloreds - or mixed race. In Walvis Bay, everyone lives separately and you can easily spot the 3 ‘level’s of acceptance throughout the Bay. The black people live in very run down, small shacks. The coloreds in sort of modest, middle class type homes…and the whites…in million dollar homes.
I know I’ve talked about this before but it struck me again. I’ve wondered how people can live in very nice, expensive homes with not a care in the world when 3-4 hours away (or sometimes, 3-4k away), there are people living in huts with no food. The contrast has always been very striking to me. Yet…don’t we do that in America? You can go to any city and find multi-million dollar homes just down the road from people living at ‘poverty’ level.
I think it’s just that we, as Americans, can’t imagine living in a stick house, with no water, that we think it’s such an extreme. I’m not saying it isn’t. But, the unbalance of economy here is NOT much different than anywhere in the world. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Where’s the ‘fairness’? Should I live in guilt because circumstances have allowed me to live a very comfortable life? These are all questions I am still needing answers to.
Sunday, May 3 - Monday, May 4:
Sunday was spent chillin out by the beach - it was a beautiful day - and then packing to leave early on Monday. I’m reaching that point in my vacation where I am missing my village. Yet I know, one week back and I’ll e saying I’m bored, lol. Guess I am only human.
Monday, I headed to the road around 6:30 am, in hopes of an early hike. It didn’t happen. After a couple of hours, Emily and Kate decided to walk further ahead in hopes that by themselves they might get a ride quicker. They had been gone maybe 20 minutes when Miles pulled over for me. Cool, young photographer from Cape Town. When I told him about my friends waiting for a hike, he was more than happy to stop and get them as well.
The hike was great and as we were passing through Karibib, we picked up the local radio station and I dialed in to answer a contest question and I actually WON! Unfortunately, they didn’t call to notify me until we were about an hour away. Just after getting the phone call, I had a brief thought about my friend John Martin, back in the states. There was no reason for him to opop into my head - but there he was. I got on facebook to send him a quick note. Once there, I was informed by a friend’s posting that John had passed away….over 2 months before.
It was the strangest sensation of shock that came over me. Why hadn’t any of our mutual friends thought to inform me? It reinforced the ‘disconnect’ that I already feel so strongly…from my life in America. At the same time, I am feeling distant from the familiar, I find myself adapting and connecting to my new life here. Don’t get me wrong, when I finish in December I will be ready to leave my village existence. It’s just that I think it will be much more difficult to leave than it ever was for me to be there in the beginning.
Tuesday, May 5 - Tuesday, May 12:
Tuesday through Thursday I hung out in Windhoek with Shimon - running errands that I didn’t finish before Swakopmund. On Friday, Em drove me to the hike point to head south. I waited about 2 ½ hours before snagging a lift all the way to Keets. We stopped in Mariental for Lunch. I then heard from Carly and Lily that they had gotten a ride only that far, so my ride decided to wait for them. It was funny though because he and I had had some good conversation about life and spirituality and stuff and once Lily (who is Chinese) got in the car, all of a sudden, all these non-pc jokes came out of him. We just kept looking at each other and laughing.
We made it to Jen and Rashin’s around 5:30 pm. They had dinner ready for us. The next day we went into town for last minute shopping. While there, I met up with David H. for a bit. Later that afternoon the others started slowly arriving. We watched Quantum of Solace and fell asleep. Transport picked us up at 7:30 am for the 2 ½ hour ride to the entrance to the canyon. He stopped at an overlook area for us to get our first view. Breathtaking! And scary as hell? I’m going to be hiking through THAT?!?!? It’s not the Grand Canyon by any means but being the 2nd largest canyon in the world, it holds it’s own.
It took us about 2 hours to descend 1k. It was rouch. At the bottom, we swam with some other hikers - some happened to be muslim and at the appropriate time - they rolled out their rugs and prayed. I vowed to myself that if we ended up camping near them sometime during the trip, I wanted to talk to them about Islam.
After lunch, we headed out. We had heard that the first few days were pretty tough - uneven ground, large boulders…deep sand. We began with smiles on our faces and ended the first day with leg cramps, painful shoulders and sore feed. But we were happy. The landscape is beautiful and the night sky with ZERO city light is truly phenomenal.
Day 2 found us heading out around 8:30 in various groups. Lily, Milan, Greg and myself happen to b pretty quick hikers. Amanda and Parker take up the middle and the rest are the caboose. Besides lizards, not much in the way of animals have been seen. I have seen leopard prints and horse poop though, so I am hopeful. Betsey injured her knee today and began vomiting from the pain. We were concerned she may have to take the emergency exit. She said no, but we stopped to camp earlier that day. We also caught up with the muslims, who gave us a better map. I never got the chance to talk to them about Islam though.
Day 3 - the pain in my shoulder blades is pretty bad but I only have on pseudo-blister, so I’m okay. I haven’t slept the last 2 nights…I can only hope tonight is better. We made good time, with the help of a shortcut. We saw several families of baboons, but still no horses. Parker said he saw some dassies, but I wasn’t so lucky. The beauty and serenity of this place continues to bring me peace. The nights are my favorite with the quiet and the night sky.
Tonight, one of our gas canisters ran out but I had run into a group of Cape Tonians hiking a little ways ahead. We crashed their fire and they were very welcoming. They helped us cook our dinner and even gave us 2 full canisters of butane to get us through the next few days. This, by far, is the greatest vacation in Namibia. I can only imagine that when I finish with PC and start travelling, that my experience will resemble this in some way.
Wednesday, May 13 - Saturday, May 16 (early morning):
The last few days in the canyon have been the most exhausting, painful, blissful and exhilarating days I’ve spent in Namibia. Being so isolated and far from any convenience - it’s flt like I could be anywhere in the world. I haven’t even been using my tent. Sleeping outside, under the stars. Making fires to cook dinner. It’s been fantastic.
Yesterday we arrived at Ai-Ais, where we enjoyed a hit, soapy shower, a pseudo-hot tub and a cold cider. After a week of hiking, one cider did me in. We played cards most of the afternoon and then had dinner at 7. There were other groups here that had opted to have a local children’s choir come and sing for them. 2 things struck me with this. First, I felt as though they were being exploited. Any time some white foreigners come along, these kids have to sing for them. At the same time, this is probably the only way for these kids to make money. It’s a double-edged sword, so to speak.
The other thing is, is that they sucked! I’ve heard much, MUCH better choirs since being here. It was obvious to all of us PCVs that these were all just the kids of the camp staff and they weren’t actually a choir. They had done no rehearsals or practiced in any way. They just sung 3-4 random songs and danced a little and threw in some yodels and clicks. So the ‘choir’ was actually ripping off the foreigners who through they were hearing authentic African music. I guess it’s a use-use situation.
One of the staff also brought her baby and some of the ‘white’ people were holding it and getting their pictures taken with it like it was some unique animal from the zoo. I found that repulsive.
Saturday, May 16 - Friday, May 22:
We were picked up and brought back to Keets where some of us immediately got on the road and started hiking north. We all eventually got picked up and dropped in Rehoboth to stay with Roshin and Beth. On Sunday, Dar and I headed north to Windhoek. Our hike dropped us off at the entrance to the B1 where she headed down the on-ramp and I walked towards Katatura. Not 5 minutes after leaving her, she was mugged. 2 guys confronted her and took her backpack. Son of a bitch!!! There are times where I go to this internal place of anger that I need to steer clear of. I want to go up to these thieves and say ‘what the F? I flew 9,000 miles to come and help YOUR people and this is how you treat me?’. I hate that I still go there after all this time…but I do. Dar is fine, just has to stay in Windhoek for a few days before heading back to site.
I spent an extra day in Windhoek to chill and headed to Rundu on Monday. It was tough cause I have a TON of crap to haul back. I made it to Otavi and then after a few hours, the rest of the way to Rundu. I stuck around there for a few days running some errands and waiting for Sarah to come through so I could hike back with her. I have some packages at her place. I hung out with Lori, Kim an the others.
Sarah arrived on Wednesday night, so yesterday we hiked back to site. I arrived yesterday around 4. It’s good to be home.
I’ve walked around enough to see that many of the fruit trees I planted are dying cause no one is watering them. The garden was not planted nor was the fence completed AND I don’t know whether the feeding program went on without me or not. I was happy that didn’t immediately go to the frustrated place. I have decided to not start any more new projects for the next 6 months. I will just focus on reinforcing the ones that are going in hopes that they will continue. Pray for me.
Sunday, May 23 - Thursday, May 28:
Routine…routine…routine. That’s what sums up my life these days. Routine. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. But it can lead to boredom. Boredom in the sense that ‘something new’ doesn’t happen on a daily basis any more. The other side of the coin is that I’m confident in what I’m doing now and it’s not a lot of ‘work’ to do it. The days are SPEEDING by and I fear if I blink, it will be Dec. 1 and I’ll be leaving my village for good.
The president of Namibia is coming to our village on the 26th of June. That’s not only something to look forward to, it’s also something I have to help prepare for. That will consume my downtime for the next few weeks. Then it’s July. Then it’s August and I’ll be travelling to Botswana. Then it’s September and I’ll travel to Windhoek for our COS conference. Then it’s like 2 ½ months left. It’s all so weird.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Valentines Schmalentines!
Tuesday, February 3 - Sunday, February 8:
It looks like I may resort to doing journal entries once a week instead of every day, lol. It’s not that things aren’t going on, it’s that I’m so busy now that by the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is sit and type. It might also have to do with things starting to seem routine rather than ‘new’.
I have my 2 days of OVC stuff this week which went great. I have 2 new helpers since it was just going to be Joanna this year. The one helper is an older guy who studied to be a teacher but currently can’t find a job. He was OUTSTANDING with the youth. Patient, kind, persuasive…they really took to him. It actually gives me hope that this program might continue after I leave. I mentioned the idea to him and he seemed excited about it, so we’ll see.
Had our Thursday meeting and though only a few people showed up, it went really well. Ever since I mentioned last week to the people from Runda that we were going to start a garden there because all of them had kept up with their end of the maintenance of the garden here, they have taken the bull by the horns. They have had a community meeting, met with the headman, got a piece of land, brought me a list of what they would need to start. They are ready and it’s very exciting to see someone here take the initiative. It makes me want to help them that much more.
The Ministry of Home Affairs was also here for 2 days registering people for birth certificates and IDs. It’s a great thing that they have come to the community instead of people having to go to them. I asked if there was anything I could do to help either right now or after they leave. The guy was kind of an ass and kept telling me there is nothing I can do. Many people were coming to me for copies now that we have a machine, so I felt I was helping out somehow and next week I am going to help with lamination services for their documents.
Later on Friday, people started showing up with the actual forms they had to fill out to get their IDs saying they sent them down here to get copies made. I actually laughed out loud. I thought…this guy made it clear I couldn’t help and then they run out of stuff due to their own ability to think ahead and he expects me to make copies for them. Unfortunately, because it’s a personal printer/copier and the toner cartridges are so expensive, I HAVE to charge a minimum of R1.00 per copy. That means that the people had to pay R4 for their forms. It was so unfair that they had to do that but may hands were tied in this matter.
This weekend I went to visit Sarah. It was great because we hadn’t spent time together since early December of last year. We caught up, swapped vacation stories and hung out with some of the 28ers. I introduced Sarah to Project Runway and she was hooked…we ended up watching the entire 4th season this weekend.
Monday, February 9 - Sunday, February 15:
The week went by in a blur and nothing huge - whether good or bad - stuck out as noteworthy. I have a feeling this second year is going to be a lot like that. Now that I have a routine, some of the initial excitement and newness has begun to wear off.
One thing I suppose that came to my mind this week is the phrase ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’. I had decided to use some money donated by a friend to purchase lamination sheets and offer free lamination of birth certificates - since the Ministry of Home Affairs was here for 2 days helping people get them. Usually this costs 8 rand in Rundu, so most people don’t have them laminated and they end up being useless in a short amount of time.
I would have thought that the news of free lamination of birth certificates would travel like wild fire and on last Friday when I has planned to do it, that people would be lined up outside my flat. This was not the case. I only ended up doing about 30. I was hoping for like 300, lol.
I have to say that it’s been one disheartening thing about my Peace Corps service. I realize it’s just me and my American attitude (and I also understand where much of the lack of motivation stems from), but I came into this thinking that the people I was here to help would just want to work SO hard and do anything to change their lives. But see, that’s my ego. And, it’s my judgment of them thinking they HAVE anything to change. Peace Corps is all about sustainability and capacity building and not letting our own opinions and thoughts get in the way of helping the community. But doesn’t a lot of it ultimately spill over?
We come here to change people’s lives. Who says they need to change? We think that having water and electricity are basic amenities because we can’t imagine NOT having grown up with them. But are they essential to every day life? Who am I to tell these people that this is something they need to strive for? Most people here live (thought difficultly) in more harmony with the earth than we do in America? They are not hoarding tons of crap they don’t need, spending money wastefully, polluting the planet, etc. Maybe they are the example of how to live more peacefully than we are.
A certain amount of ego HAS has got to come into play for me to be here and try to motivate people to live differently because I think they should. I’ve resigned myself to not implementing too many new ideas this second year. I would rather people come to me with their own and allow me to assist them.
Monday, February 16 - Thursday, February 19:
This week many people have continued to show up for lamination. I figured that would be the case. I will borrow the machine again in March and have another free day. The new garden watering schedule seems to be working well. People are showing up when they are supposed to. The maize is doing ‘okay’, just not growing as tall as I would like. Onions and carrots - not so hot. But the tomato plants are THRIVING! I am hoping we also have luck with the squash and cabbage that we planted this week. Even if we could find 2 things to grow during the summer and a couple to grow during winter, I would be happy.
I had a great time with the OVCs this week though I am finding it difficult to teach English and math, lol. They are all in different places and I try to keep it interesting to both the young and older ones. We watched a movie about Alaska and they were fascinated with the brown/black bears and caribou.
On thing of note that happened this week, was I had to confront Jaffet about something. Jaffet is part of a duo (him and Sakeus) and they have become like my ‘buds’. They come over ALL the time and we play and occasionally I feed them. I’ve sort of taken them under my wing as my little brothers. Well, I’ve noticed a couple of times that Jaffet has stolen from me. Little things like sweets and last week, some bread. At first I was like, well, this is Africa, it’s survival. The bread thing pissed me off though cause the day he did it I was actually making him lunch.
Well, when I went into my OVC classroom on Tuesday and was counting people’s points on the poster, I noticed areas where stickers had been removed. Many people were missing one or two. As I glanced down the board, I came upon Jaffet’s name and his was FULL of stickers with curled up edges. He’s only been to class once so at the max, he would have 2. He had 15. Given the fact that he’s stolen from me in the past, I knew right away he had done it. I made plans to confront him the next time I saw him. The next time was today.
He stopped by as usually and I immediately stopped what I was doing and took him over to the room and asked him why he did it. He claimed - rather defiantly - that it wasn’t him, that it was this other kid from church. I said, are you sure? He said yes. So I told him to go find this kid and bring him to me cause I wanted to confront him. I told him to do it right now and not come back to my house until he had the boy with him. See, I knew he was lying.
He leaves and about 4 minutes later comes to my door to inform me that he and I are not friends. It was hard not to laugh. But I sat down outside with him and asked him why. He said it was because I was accusing him and not believing him. I then proceeded to talk about the other things he’s stolen from me and how COULD I believe him if my past experience with him has shown me otherwise. I said, all he had to do was bring me the kid and if he confessed, I would apologize and things would be fine. So he leaves once again.
About 10 minutes later he returns and at my door, says he is sorry. I go and sit down outside with him and ask him what he’s sorry about. He says, ‘that’. I wanted him to tell me what, lol. So he did and I asked him why he lied to me and accused someone else. I said, if we are to be friends I have to trust you and right now I don’t. He didn’t have an answer for my question and so I sent him home. I told him to think about it and when he had an answer for me, he could come back…just not today.
Honestly, I felt bad watching him walk away…the kid has NOTHING. But, at the same time, I can’t support these actions and he needs to learn something from it - so I have to be a hard ass. I’m sure we will make up and things will be fine…I’m glad I’m leaving tomorrow for Windhoek for about a week…that’s his grounding period, lol.
Friday, February 20 - Monday, February 24:
Friday, thanks to Dinah and John, I made it to Rundu safely. I went to the TRC, dropped off all the stuff I was leaving there, ran a few errands and then met up with Gretchen and her mother at Omashari Lodge for dinner. It was great seeing her, laughing, catching up and meeting her mom and friend Elaine. I then made my way back to Ben’s house where I hung out with everyone there for a few hours before crashing.
Saturday I got up early and headed to the hike point. I waited for about 2 ½ hours for a ride and snagged a short trip to Grootfontein. Now. Everything in my head was telling me NOT to take the hike because Groot is such a black hole…but I had waited so long to get out of Rundu that I succumbed.
Once in Groot, I was stuck there for about 3 hours. I should have known. I finally took a hike to Tsumeb in hopes that I could catch a ride with a car coming from Oshakati or Odangwa. I waited there for about ½ an hour before getting a great ride from a pharmacist who knew all about Peace Corps and talked my ear off. He was great. He took me as far as Otjiwarongo and then gave me R$100 to take a taxi to Okahandja. Again…I am still taken aback by the generosity of people here. I ran into super spar to grab a bite to eat, snagged a taxi quickly and arrived in Okahandja around 6:15.
My friend Crisenzo (an Italian guy living in Windhoek) picked me up there and we caught up on the ride to his place. It was nice to shower, have a nice dinner and relax in front of the TV after such a long day.
Sunday I ran an errand to the mall and then Chris dropped me off at the PC office. I met up with Brook, Dave, Loren, Melissa, Ryan and Milan. Then we were transported to the airport to wait on the newbies. Once there, I ran into Tina whose brother and and his partner were waiting on their plane so they could head back to the states. It was nice to meet them and to catch up with her.
After a few hours, the new PCVs plane arrived and we greeted them with smiles and cheers. It took me back to the day we got off the plane and had the dazed and frightened looks on our faces. Heading in to the unknown. It was great meeting them and an amazing ‘soul’ check for me. To realize how far I’ve come since being here. How far I’ve grown. The obstacles I’ve faced and worked through. It was a nice, little proud moment for myself. Many imaginary pats on the back took place.
The rest of Sunday was spent getting them settled into the training center and answering a ton of questions. I loved it. I really wish we had had some volunteers there when we arrived. There so much they want (and we wanted) to know that we either didn’t want to ask PC directly or were tired of the ‘it depends’ answers they WERE giving us. It’s a good feeling to be there for these guys in this way and most have made comments about how helpful it’s been that we are here.
Monday they began their training sessions…which I sat in on. It took me back to the beginning and the days where I felt like going a bit loopy. More questions were asked and answered and I continue to enjoy the process of being the ‘experienced’ one. Like I mentioned above about the airport. It’s a nice reality check about where I’ve been to how far I’ve come. I took a small group into town for a quick tour, only to be called back to the center because they had medical interviews either I had forgotten about or they have forgotten to mention to me. Ooops. Bad VSN member…BAD!
Tuesday, February 24 - Thursday, March 5:
Tuesday’s training was more of answering many questions. I tried to have a movie night that night but I don’t think many were interested.
Wednesday I got up early to hike north. Shimon, the guy currently running the center, walked with me to the road. We had become friends over the past few days and he wanted to see me off.
Once out of town I was picked up by a policeman going to Otjiwarongo. It was a pleasant ride and he introduced me to Lucky Dube - a reggae artist from South Africa. He dropped me at the Engin there and within 15 minutes a German guy named Olf picked me up to drop me in Otavi. We had an amazing conversation - he was so progressive in his thinking. He even asked me if I had ever heard of ‘The Secret’, lol.
After about 30 minutes he offered to take me all the way to Groot. He claimed he just hadn’t driven it in awhile and wanted to see it…I think he was just a good guy and wanted to take me as far north as feasibly possible. Once in Groot - at the Total - I warded off the combi drivers - many who recognized me and immediately said, ‘oh, you’re going to free hike, yes’. About an hour passed (and I began to dread the black hole that is Groot), when Oliver and Eva - two german tourists - gave me a lift to Rundu. What’s funny, is that when they stopped for me and I introduced myself (without my name), they said…’are you Chaz?’. I was like..what the hell! They recognized me from couch surfing and said they had thought about contacting me but weren’t initially planning on going this far north in Namibia. We talked a bit and then I fell asleep.
In Rundu I went to the TRC and tried to make arrangements for transport the following day back to my village. I wanted a truck so that I could get some more fruit trees for the clinic. It wasn’t going to work out this time, so I planned on just hiking. I found out later that day that Tina, one of our Caprivi kids was heading back to the states and was coming through Rundu the next night. I really needed to get back to site and have a day to prepare for the theater but I also wanted to say goodbye. I opted to stay another night in Rundu.
It so happened that Sarah was coming in for the same reason and Juice was on his way to Okahandja, so we had a great time sending Tina home. She will be missed.
The next morning, I got up early to get back to site as quickly as I could. Sarah was going to hike with me but then a learner from the combined school that Lindsey taught at, had lost his mother the day before and she stayed behind to console and help him make arrangements. I can’t even imagine being 17, the eldest, and having to deal with the loss of my mom AND make all the arrangements.
I got a hike very quickly to Nkurenkuru from a driver that recognized me. Once there, it took about 90 minutes before I landed one the rest of the way to Mpungu. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and getting things ready for the next day.
Saturday morning we had out HIV Awareness Event which went well as usual. I have noticed that the last few events, not many people from the community show up. I am very eager for our clinic to get rapid testing for HIV so that we can take our event down into the community, instead of having it at the clinic.
We had a great lunch - people were happy to get meat for lunch, lol - and then I want to put up hooks for the movie screen and test the projector and sound system. We were set to go. Sarah was supposed to arrive on Friday but because of helping Franz, she arrived later today. She cooked dinner while I went to set up for the big event. It was sort of hard to believe that after a year of ‘preparation’, that the theater was finally happening.
At 6:30 I was happy to look around and see many more people than I had originally planned! We had a great turn out and I almost teared up when the HIV+ members of our groups stood up to talk about their status. I hope we can make waves against the stigma in this village with this theater.
At the end of the movie, everyone clapped and they all said they enjoyed it very much. One tate said it was ‘sweet’, lol. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that on next Saturday, when we charge money, that people will show up.
Sarah left on Sunday and I spent the rest of the day chilling out. Monday came and went with me doing paperwork and preparing for the week ahead. Tuesday’s OVC group was great - I was able to give them teddy bears from Mother Bear and toothbrushes and toothpaste from Colgate. Later that day, two couch surfers - Jessica and Michael - arrived from the northwest side. I had originally thought they were from Italy. However, they were both American - though Jess had been living in Italy for the past year. They have traveled extensively and are making their way through Africa.
The next few days I had a blast hangin out with them and showing them a little of my village. They were perfect guests and it was awesome to have visitors. They talked at length about their travels and made it sound so easy. I cannot WAIT to travel when I finish here. Sometimes I think that I should if I had had the money, I should have travel for a couple of years instead of joining PC. I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed my experience and continue to do so, I just think I was looking for an adventure more than I was a ‘purpose’…does that make sense?
In the midst of my life here, I’ve been reading ‘The 4 Agreements’. I’ve read it before and loved it but for some reason it has more meaning to me now. I’ve just finished reading and re-reading the chapter on ‘Be Impeccible with Your Word’. It talks about how harmful the words we use can be to others AND ourselves. I know that I’ve always been very self-critical, but it’s very easy for me to criticize myself in the form of a joke if I mess up in the presence of others. I need to stop doing that. I need to stop calling myself stupid. I need to stop reinforcing the idea that I don’t have good memory. I need to DEFINITELY stop reinforcing the idea that I ‘don’t know what I’m doing’ or ‘don’t know how to do this or that’.
I’ve just gotten a couple of pages into the next chapter entitled ‘Don’t Take Things Personally’. The first thing that came to mind was my interaction with the other volunteers in my village. I realized that because my emotions were on a rollercoaster and my self-esteem was in the gutter - when I first arrived - that I was in serious VICTIM MODE. I SO wanted someone to take care of me and when the other PCVs here or VSOs didn’t behave like I felt they should have or I felt like I needed, I blamed them. I took all their words and all their actions painfully personally. They were all just being themselves…it was me feeling vulnerable and exposed.
It looks like I may resort to doing journal entries once a week instead of every day, lol. It’s not that things aren’t going on, it’s that I’m so busy now that by the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is sit and type. It might also have to do with things starting to seem routine rather than ‘new’.
I have my 2 days of OVC stuff this week which went great. I have 2 new helpers since it was just going to be Joanna this year. The one helper is an older guy who studied to be a teacher but currently can’t find a job. He was OUTSTANDING with the youth. Patient, kind, persuasive…they really took to him. It actually gives me hope that this program might continue after I leave. I mentioned the idea to him and he seemed excited about it, so we’ll see.
Had our Thursday meeting and though only a few people showed up, it went really well. Ever since I mentioned last week to the people from Runda that we were going to start a garden there because all of them had kept up with their end of the maintenance of the garden here, they have taken the bull by the horns. They have had a community meeting, met with the headman, got a piece of land, brought me a list of what they would need to start. They are ready and it’s very exciting to see someone here take the initiative. It makes me want to help them that much more.
The Ministry of Home Affairs was also here for 2 days registering people for birth certificates and IDs. It’s a great thing that they have come to the community instead of people having to go to them. I asked if there was anything I could do to help either right now or after they leave. The guy was kind of an ass and kept telling me there is nothing I can do. Many people were coming to me for copies now that we have a machine, so I felt I was helping out somehow and next week I am going to help with lamination services for their documents.
Later on Friday, people started showing up with the actual forms they had to fill out to get their IDs saying they sent them down here to get copies made. I actually laughed out loud. I thought…this guy made it clear I couldn’t help and then they run out of stuff due to their own ability to think ahead and he expects me to make copies for them. Unfortunately, because it’s a personal printer/copier and the toner cartridges are so expensive, I HAVE to charge a minimum of R1.00 per copy. That means that the people had to pay R4 for their forms. It was so unfair that they had to do that but may hands were tied in this matter.
This weekend I went to visit Sarah. It was great because we hadn’t spent time together since early December of last year. We caught up, swapped vacation stories and hung out with some of the 28ers. I introduced Sarah to Project Runway and she was hooked…we ended up watching the entire 4th season this weekend.
Monday, February 9 - Sunday, February 15:
The week went by in a blur and nothing huge - whether good or bad - stuck out as noteworthy. I have a feeling this second year is going to be a lot like that. Now that I have a routine, some of the initial excitement and newness has begun to wear off.
One thing I suppose that came to my mind this week is the phrase ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’. I had decided to use some money donated by a friend to purchase lamination sheets and offer free lamination of birth certificates - since the Ministry of Home Affairs was here for 2 days helping people get them. Usually this costs 8 rand in Rundu, so most people don’t have them laminated and they end up being useless in a short amount of time.
I would have thought that the news of free lamination of birth certificates would travel like wild fire and on last Friday when I has planned to do it, that people would be lined up outside my flat. This was not the case. I only ended up doing about 30. I was hoping for like 300, lol.
I have to say that it’s been one disheartening thing about my Peace Corps service. I realize it’s just me and my American attitude (and I also understand where much of the lack of motivation stems from), but I came into this thinking that the people I was here to help would just want to work SO hard and do anything to change their lives. But see, that’s my ego. And, it’s my judgment of them thinking they HAVE anything to change. Peace Corps is all about sustainability and capacity building and not letting our own opinions and thoughts get in the way of helping the community. But doesn’t a lot of it ultimately spill over?
We come here to change people’s lives. Who says they need to change? We think that having water and electricity are basic amenities because we can’t imagine NOT having grown up with them. But are they essential to every day life? Who am I to tell these people that this is something they need to strive for? Most people here live (thought difficultly) in more harmony with the earth than we do in America? They are not hoarding tons of crap they don’t need, spending money wastefully, polluting the planet, etc. Maybe they are the example of how to live more peacefully than we are.
A certain amount of ego HAS has got to come into play for me to be here and try to motivate people to live differently because I think they should. I’ve resigned myself to not implementing too many new ideas this second year. I would rather people come to me with their own and allow me to assist them.
Monday, February 16 - Thursday, February 19:
This week many people have continued to show up for lamination. I figured that would be the case. I will borrow the machine again in March and have another free day. The new garden watering schedule seems to be working well. People are showing up when they are supposed to. The maize is doing ‘okay’, just not growing as tall as I would like. Onions and carrots - not so hot. But the tomato plants are THRIVING! I am hoping we also have luck with the squash and cabbage that we planted this week. Even if we could find 2 things to grow during the summer and a couple to grow during winter, I would be happy.
I had a great time with the OVCs this week though I am finding it difficult to teach English and math, lol. They are all in different places and I try to keep it interesting to both the young and older ones. We watched a movie about Alaska and they were fascinated with the brown/black bears and caribou.
On thing of note that happened this week, was I had to confront Jaffet about something. Jaffet is part of a duo (him and Sakeus) and they have become like my ‘buds’. They come over ALL the time and we play and occasionally I feed them. I’ve sort of taken them under my wing as my little brothers. Well, I’ve noticed a couple of times that Jaffet has stolen from me. Little things like sweets and last week, some bread. At first I was like, well, this is Africa, it’s survival. The bread thing pissed me off though cause the day he did it I was actually making him lunch.
Well, when I went into my OVC classroom on Tuesday and was counting people’s points on the poster, I noticed areas where stickers had been removed. Many people were missing one or two. As I glanced down the board, I came upon Jaffet’s name and his was FULL of stickers with curled up edges. He’s only been to class once so at the max, he would have 2. He had 15. Given the fact that he’s stolen from me in the past, I knew right away he had done it. I made plans to confront him the next time I saw him. The next time was today.
He stopped by as usually and I immediately stopped what I was doing and took him over to the room and asked him why he did it. He claimed - rather defiantly - that it wasn’t him, that it was this other kid from church. I said, are you sure? He said yes. So I told him to go find this kid and bring him to me cause I wanted to confront him. I told him to do it right now and not come back to my house until he had the boy with him. See, I knew he was lying.
He leaves and about 4 minutes later comes to my door to inform me that he and I are not friends. It was hard not to laugh. But I sat down outside with him and asked him why. He said it was because I was accusing him and not believing him. I then proceeded to talk about the other things he’s stolen from me and how COULD I believe him if my past experience with him has shown me otherwise. I said, all he had to do was bring me the kid and if he confessed, I would apologize and things would be fine. So he leaves once again.
About 10 minutes later he returns and at my door, says he is sorry. I go and sit down outside with him and ask him what he’s sorry about. He says, ‘that’. I wanted him to tell me what, lol. So he did and I asked him why he lied to me and accused someone else. I said, if we are to be friends I have to trust you and right now I don’t. He didn’t have an answer for my question and so I sent him home. I told him to think about it and when he had an answer for me, he could come back…just not today.
Honestly, I felt bad watching him walk away…the kid has NOTHING. But, at the same time, I can’t support these actions and he needs to learn something from it - so I have to be a hard ass. I’m sure we will make up and things will be fine…I’m glad I’m leaving tomorrow for Windhoek for about a week…that’s his grounding period, lol.
Friday, February 20 - Monday, February 24:
Friday, thanks to Dinah and John, I made it to Rundu safely. I went to the TRC, dropped off all the stuff I was leaving there, ran a few errands and then met up with Gretchen and her mother at Omashari Lodge for dinner. It was great seeing her, laughing, catching up and meeting her mom and friend Elaine. I then made my way back to Ben’s house where I hung out with everyone there for a few hours before crashing.
Saturday I got up early and headed to the hike point. I waited for about 2 ½ hours for a ride and snagged a short trip to Grootfontein. Now. Everything in my head was telling me NOT to take the hike because Groot is such a black hole…but I had waited so long to get out of Rundu that I succumbed.
Once in Groot, I was stuck there for about 3 hours. I should have known. I finally took a hike to Tsumeb in hopes that I could catch a ride with a car coming from Oshakati or Odangwa. I waited there for about ½ an hour before getting a great ride from a pharmacist who knew all about Peace Corps and talked my ear off. He was great. He took me as far as Otjiwarongo and then gave me R$100 to take a taxi to Okahandja. Again…I am still taken aback by the generosity of people here. I ran into super spar to grab a bite to eat, snagged a taxi quickly and arrived in Okahandja around 6:15.
My friend Crisenzo (an Italian guy living in Windhoek) picked me up there and we caught up on the ride to his place. It was nice to shower, have a nice dinner and relax in front of the TV after such a long day.
Sunday I ran an errand to the mall and then Chris dropped me off at the PC office. I met up with Brook, Dave, Loren, Melissa, Ryan and Milan. Then we were transported to the airport to wait on the newbies. Once there, I ran into Tina whose brother and and his partner were waiting on their plane so they could head back to the states. It was nice to meet them and to catch up with her.
After a few hours, the new PCVs plane arrived and we greeted them with smiles and cheers. It took me back to the day we got off the plane and had the dazed and frightened looks on our faces. Heading in to the unknown. It was great meeting them and an amazing ‘soul’ check for me. To realize how far I’ve come since being here. How far I’ve grown. The obstacles I’ve faced and worked through. It was a nice, little proud moment for myself. Many imaginary pats on the back took place.
The rest of Sunday was spent getting them settled into the training center and answering a ton of questions. I loved it. I really wish we had had some volunteers there when we arrived. There so much they want (and we wanted) to know that we either didn’t want to ask PC directly or were tired of the ‘it depends’ answers they WERE giving us. It’s a good feeling to be there for these guys in this way and most have made comments about how helpful it’s been that we are here.
Monday they began their training sessions…which I sat in on. It took me back to the beginning and the days where I felt like going a bit loopy. More questions were asked and answered and I continue to enjoy the process of being the ‘experienced’ one. Like I mentioned above about the airport. It’s a nice reality check about where I’ve been to how far I’ve come. I took a small group into town for a quick tour, only to be called back to the center because they had medical interviews either I had forgotten about or they have forgotten to mention to me. Ooops. Bad VSN member…BAD!
Tuesday, February 24 - Thursday, March 5:
Tuesday’s training was more of answering many questions. I tried to have a movie night that night but I don’t think many were interested.
Wednesday I got up early to hike north. Shimon, the guy currently running the center, walked with me to the road. We had become friends over the past few days and he wanted to see me off.
Once out of town I was picked up by a policeman going to Otjiwarongo. It was a pleasant ride and he introduced me to Lucky Dube - a reggae artist from South Africa. He dropped me at the Engin there and within 15 minutes a German guy named Olf picked me up to drop me in Otavi. We had an amazing conversation - he was so progressive in his thinking. He even asked me if I had ever heard of ‘The Secret’, lol.
After about 30 minutes he offered to take me all the way to Groot. He claimed he just hadn’t driven it in awhile and wanted to see it…I think he was just a good guy and wanted to take me as far north as feasibly possible. Once in Groot - at the Total - I warded off the combi drivers - many who recognized me and immediately said, ‘oh, you’re going to free hike, yes’. About an hour passed (and I began to dread the black hole that is Groot), when Oliver and Eva - two german tourists - gave me a lift to Rundu. What’s funny, is that when they stopped for me and I introduced myself (without my name), they said…’are you Chaz?’. I was like..what the hell! They recognized me from couch surfing and said they had thought about contacting me but weren’t initially planning on going this far north in Namibia. We talked a bit and then I fell asleep.
In Rundu I went to the TRC and tried to make arrangements for transport the following day back to my village. I wanted a truck so that I could get some more fruit trees for the clinic. It wasn’t going to work out this time, so I planned on just hiking. I found out later that day that Tina, one of our Caprivi kids was heading back to the states and was coming through Rundu the next night. I really needed to get back to site and have a day to prepare for the theater but I also wanted to say goodbye. I opted to stay another night in Rundu.
It so happened that Sarah was coming in for the same reason and Juice was on his way to Okahandja, so we had a great time sending Tina home. She will be missed.
The next morning, I got up early to get back to site as quickly as I could. Sarah was going to hike with me but then a learner from the combined school that Lindsey taught at, had lost his mother the day before and she stayed behind to console and help him make arrangements. I can’t even imagine being 17, the eldest, and having to deal with the loss of my mom AND make all the arrangements.
I got a hike very quickly to Nkurenkuru from a driver that recognized me. Once there, it took about 90 minutes before I landed one the rest of the way to Mpungu. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and getting things ready for the next day.
Saturday morning we had out HIV Awareness Event which went well as usual. I have noticed that the last few events, not many people from the community show up. I am very eager for our clinic to get rapid testing for HIV so that we can take our event down into the community, instead of having it at the clinic.
We had a great lunch - people were happy to get meat for lunch, lol - and then I want to put up hooks for the movie screen and test the projector and sound system. We were set to go. Sarah was supposed to arrive on Friday but because of helping Franz, she arrived later today. She cooked dinner while I went to set up for the big event. It was sort of hard to believe that after a year of ‘preparation’, that the theater was finally happening.
At 6:30 I was happy to look around and see many more people than I had originally planned! We had a great turn out and I almost teared up when the HIV+ members of our groups stood up to talk about their status. I hope we can make waves against the stigma in this village with this theater.
At the end of the movie, everyone clapped and they all said they enjoyed it very much. One tate said it was ‘sweet’, lol. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that on next Saturday, when we charge money, that people will show up.
Sarah left on Sunday and I spent the rest of the day chilling out. Monday came and went with me doing paperwork and preparing for the week ahead. Tuesday’s OVC group was great - I was able to give them teddy bears from Mother Bear and toothbrushes and toothpaste from Colgate. Later that day, two couch surfers - Jessica and Michael - arrived from the northwest side. I had originally thought they were from Italy. However, they were both American - though Jess had been living in Italy for the past year. They have traveled extensively and are making their way through Africa.
The next few days I had a blast hangin out with them and showing them a little of my village. They were perfect guests and it was awesome to have visitors. They talked at length about their travels and made it sound so easy. I cannot WAIT to travel when I finish here. Sometimes I think that I should if I had had the money, I should have travel for a couple of years instead of joining PC. I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed my experience and continue to do so, I just think I was looking for an adventure more than I was a ‘purpose’…does that make sense?
In the midst of my life here, I’ve been reading ‘The 4 Agreements’. I’ve read it before and loved it but for some reason it has more meaning to me now. I’ve just finished reading and re-reading the chapter on ‘Be Impeccible with Your Word’. It talks about how harmful the words we use can be to others AND ourselves. I know that I’ve always been very self-critical, but it’s very easy for me to criticize myself in the form of a joke if I mess up in the presence of others. I need to stop doing that. I need to stop calling myself stupid. I need to stop reinforcing the idea that I don’t have good memory. I need to DEFINITELY stop reinforcing the idea that I ‘don’t know what I’m doing’ or ‘don’t know how to do this or that’.
I’ve just gotten a couple of pages into the next chapter entitled ‘Don’t Take Things Personally’. The first thing that came to mind was my interaction with the other volunteers in my village. I realized that because my emotions were on a rollercoaster and my self-esteem was in the gutter - when I first arrived - that I was in serious VICTIM MODE. I SO wanted someone to take care of me and when the other PCVs here or VSOs didn’t behave like I felt they should have or I felt like I needed, I blamed them. I took all their words and all their actions painfully personally. They were all just being themselves…it was me feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
My South African Journey
Monday, December 1 - Friday, December 5:
Yesterday we piled and I do mean PILED into Sarah’s parent’s rented car and headed back to her site. It was fun to watch and listen to them and remember what it was like for us the first time we rode on that road. Their comments and oohs and ahhs. It was also really great to chat with them. They are awesome and Sarah is very lucky to have parents like that. So open and accepting. I realize everyone at some point thinks someone else has it better and that’s not what I mean. I just mean they are really cool people.
Once at her site we unpacked and I tried to contact my ride only to discover it wasn’t coming. I then thought I was going to have to try and hike with all this stuff which would NOT have been fun. I contacted my supervisor and discovered he was heading back from Rundu and would gladly pick me up. We then walked her parents around Nkurenkuru a bit though there was nothing much going on given it was a Sunday. It was still neat to watch their reactions to everything.
When Lyambezi showed up for my ride I discovered Eddie, the couchsurfer from New Orleans in the back. He and I had been making plans for him to come visit my site for a few weeks but I was never sure exactly when he was heading this way. Synchronicity man. We chatted on the drive back and I welcomed him to my place in Mpungu.
The past few days have been great having someone around and yet at the same time I’ve gotten so used to being on my own that I can feel that part of myself wanting my space again. Don’t get me wrong, he’s been a GREAT guest and I’ve never felt like I have to entertain him. He’s a Christian, but very laid back and he’s on this journey of hiking around Africa for about 4-6 months. After he leaves my place next week he begins making his way to Cairo.
My OVCs on Tuesday was great fun! I made them peanut butter sandwiches and we watched Harry Potter and the Scorcerer’s Stone. I then presented them with some school supplies that I was able to purchase thanks to Kim, Becky and Kim’s sister. They had sent me money earlier the past week and now they are going to start collecting donations throughout the coming year from clients in order for me to always have money for the kids. I might even be able to feed them each week. They were really happy!
Yesterday I had a meeting about the garden and I had to be a bit stern with them. The garden is NOT being watered regularly and things are dying. I am honestly worried about what will happen while I am gone for a month, but I hope they will maintain it responsibly.
I have been trying to work out transport for the fruit trees from Rundu and finally nailed down a day when I could have the truck. I then tried to contact the Ministry but with no cell network I had to purchase a phone card and use a pay phone - which is a pain in the ass. The first day the woman told me that Faustinus was out in the bush - IN MPUNGU - and could not be reached. She said she didn’t know what I was talking about (ie. the trees). I then called back the next day and a different woman said she’d check and that I should call back in an hour. I called back and a man answered. He didn’t know what I was talking about and started telling me about the proper procedure of doing things and that I needed to submit things in writing. Blah blah blah… I cut him off and explained that I had done all that and spoken directly to Faustinus. He said that I should wait until Monday when he is back. Next week is my last week and if I wait til then to get the trees then I only have a few days to plant 200 trees on the clinic site. On top of that I am supposed to go to Windhoek for an impression of a crown for replacement AND my money for the theater project is supposed to come in and I want to go there to purchase the equipment. When it rains it pours. Days and days without nothing to do and then BAM! A week of non-stop activity.
Saturday, December 6 (early morning):
An interesting thing happened yesterday. I received a text from either Alex or Christine, probably Christine, though I had erased all the 26ers phone numbers from my cells because they were heading home. She said she had just read my blog for the first time and was sorry that I felt that way about them. It took me a minute to understand what she meant. She said she was going to forward my blog to Dinah and John - though I didn’t really understand why that was necessary.
See…my blog is basically my journal cut and pasted. My journal is my personal experience here in Africa - every part of my personal experience. It does exactly what a journal is supposed to do. You use a journal to emote into and hopefully gain insight into yourself in the process. Most people’s are private and not available for public viewing. I choose to put mine out there for my friends and the world to see because of 2 reasons. 1. Someone might have insight into what I’m feeling and can help me see something I cannot. 2. Someone might be going through the same thing or feeling the same way and it’s nice to know ‘you’re not the only one’ sometimes.
After the text sunk in, I went to this worried, stomach turning place and I thought to myself, what’s the lesson in this? If my experience here is all about personal growth, why am I feeling weird and uncomfortable? What is there to learn? At first I thought it might be a lesson in NOT sharing everything I’m feeling with the world. This came from thinking that now I have repercussions to face when the VSOs return. And then, without much more contemplation I realized that NO. The lesson here is about standing up for myself and truly not caring what people think - which is something I’ve struggled with my entire life.
If Dinah and John, more so Dinah, choose to take personally my ‘in the moment’ feelings about a given situation, I have no control over that. The words in my journal depict how I am feeling at that time and do not always express my general consensus about a given person or situation. This is who I am. I am an out loud processor. It’s what keeps me mentally healthy and stress free. It keeps me from hanging on to negative shit and letting it eat away at me. I cannot change who I am in this regard because I’m worried about what someone else thinks of me.
I do not apologize for anything that is written in my journal. I’m not writing a story or trying to tell some fictitious tale about my experience. It’s David, raw and exposed. I spent too many years as a child and adolescent keeping my feelings, thoughts and beliefs locked up inside me for fear of the judgment of others. THAT’S not who I am any more.
Sunday, December 7 - Thursday, December 11:
This is my last week here before heading to the Cape for vacation. Can I just say that I understand the phrase ‘chomping at the bit’ now? I am so eager to go and yet at the same time, I feel like In the past two weeks I have begun to fall in love with this place. Funny huh? I still need a break - TRUST ME! But things are finally starting to fall into place and funds are coming in and connections for funds are being made - so I no longer feel like my hands are tied.
I made a great ‘re-connection’ with my church, New Though Unity Center . The few that I am email back and forth with seem to be very eager to jump into some of my projects here. It will be awesome to have their support - emotionally and spiritually as WELL as financially.
Monday morning Eddie and I got up early and rode to Rundu with the car that needed to be repaired. I thought it worked out great to accomplish some things in town, get him a ride, as well as pick up some of my trees from the Ministry of Forestry. Well, NAMIBIA NAMIBIA, I was stuck there for the night so I crashed at Cobra’s place. Then, the car wasn’t ready until 4:30 the following day. We raced to the Ministry only to discover that people were clocking out and no one wanted to do the paperwork. THEN, some woman who I’d never came out Faustinus and said that we didn’t have the right paperwork or official stamps and couldn’t have this or that. I was furious. 4 months I’ve been working on this…I wasn’t ABOUT to leave without trees in the back of our car. I bitched and moaned and caused a rucous and rode back to Mpungu happily with 50 guava and papaya trees!
I’ve been planting a few trees each day to get them in the ground before I leave. I had my last meeting about the upcoming event and the garden with the group. We rearranged the schedule again in hopes that the garden would not die while I was gone. We also made final plans for the HIV awareness event on Saturday. I introduced a new game that got them really excited.
OH I didn’t even tell you the best news - I got a text that the money for my theater project was deposited into my account. So I am leaving a few days earlier in order to go to Windhoek and purchase the equipment. That way, it’s in the Peace Corps office and when the Rundu driver comes down for repair, he can bring it back for me. You have no idea how excited I am about getting this project going. Also, once we have rapid testing at our clinic, we will become mobile. I now just need to write a proposal for a generator so that we can go into the bush and show movies, do HIV education and HIV testing in villages 20-30k away. This next year is going to be GREAT! I have it all planned out what I am going to accomplish and the funds should be here to do everything.
Right now Sakeus and Jaffe have stopped by to watch a movie. I have my Christmas lights on, Christmas tree from Patti lit and playing holiday music. They are dancing like they were in a club. It’s cute and great and yes, I’m LOVING this.
Friday, December 12 - Saturday, December 13:
I don’t remember much about Friday, but the event on Saturday was successful and everyone had a great time. Now begins my journey south to Cape Town. On the way to the hike point I was picked up by a car going to Nkurenkuru via Zone. I took it for fear of not finding another. I have never been to Zone. It’s very green and lush there. It continues to amaze me that you can turn off of a main road, travel a couple of kilometers through nothing and then come upon a village. I am sitting under a tree while the driver visits with his family at the homestead. Isn’t it funny…? In the states we’d never pick up a hitchhiker let alone take him/her with us to our relatives’ house. Here it’s just part of life. I hope to make it to Rundu today and travel to Windhoek tomorrow. I am SO ready for this vacation!
Tonight, after it taking close to 6 hours to reach Rundu, was probably the bumpiest hike of my life. I hung out with Cedar and Kerri and went to bed early .
Sunday, December 14:
We got up early to hit the road. I went to the TRC first to make a sign and grab my tent - though I decided I didn’t really need it. I went to the hike point before them but after an hour, they arrived and I still hadn’t snagged a ride. About 30 minutes later we ALL got a ride in the back of an el camino type car. It was dreary and overcast and we thought for sure we’d get rained on. With it being so cloudy, none of us thought to put on sunscreen. Between that and how cold it was, who knew we’d arrive in Windhoek, 7 hours later - battered, sore, necks cramped and burnt to a crisp! You could cook eggs on our faces and legs. It’s really scary sometimes how intense the African sun is.
We dropped our bags at the place Kerri and Cedar were staying (where I am crashing on the floor) and I went to the PC lounge for the internet. SCORE! It was full of stuff the 26ers left behind. I now have stickers, a tape measure, bras, clothes, books, CD cases and many other things to use as prizes for our HIV awareness events. I also talked to Stephanie in the office about having ALL the clothes shipped north if no one claimed them.
I went to the store to buy stuff to make a salad for dinner and then they decided to go for pizza at the mall. I went along for the company and in taking a short cut, we found ourselves in a fair ground like area that was deserted. We ended up having to climb a barbed wire fence to get out.
Monday, December 15 - Wednesday, December 17:
The last few days have been rushing around trying to get everything for the theater project. Yesterday at 3:00 when I bought the last piece and felt like my vacation had officially started. I got all the equipment back into the storage at the PC office. I also met up with my friend Karel who used to live in Mpungu. Then last night Jehan and I went to dinner and had a blast. I’ve always really enjoyed her but this was the most 1 on 1 time we’ve had. We walked from there to the Chameleon where Claire was staying and hung out for a bit. This morning we got up early to start hiking around 8 am. After 3 hours, Carlos who is driving all the way to Cape Town, picked us up. A free ride ALL the way.
I’ve never been south of Windhoek and I can say this…I like the north MUCH better. We’ve been driving now for like 5 hours in nothing. Total desert. I mean literally nothing! Towns are spaced about 300k form one another. I feel like I am in ‘The Hills Have Eyes 3’.
Thursday, December 18:
This morning, Claire and I arrived at Long St. at 3:00 am. We had not even gotten our bags out of the car when we were offered to buy some weed. We said goodbye to Carlos - forgot my Nalgene in his car - and started looking for a hostel. Fortunately the first one we stopped at had a twin room so we took it, brushed our teeth and went right to bed.
I awoke at 7, not ever being able to sleep in and we packed, moved our things to the hostel Claire had reservations at, and went to breakfast. Croissants stuffed with scrambled eggs, portabella mushrooms, fresh basil and parmesean. After a year in the village - this was heaven. Speaking of food, I forgot to mention that the night before, Carlos stopped in Springbok and bought us dinner. He was very sweet.
After breakfast we walked around, bought some jewelry, a painting and a tapestry at the craft market, bought our South African phone cards from a Persian guy from Toronto and had another great meal for lunch. This place is amazing. So beautiful and so diverse. The only downside so far is that I am more aware -after being in the corps for a year - that all the service staff - everywhere you go - is black. Maybe it’s something I never noticed in the states, but here it’s so apparent.
Long St. is similar to gaslight Clifton in that it’s hip, laid back - you see dreads and tattoos and supermodels. Seriously, supermodels! We kept thinking we’d run into the other PCVs that are here but they continued to elude us.
I stopped by a tattoo place to schedule an appt. A year in the bush deserves a mark. When we walking around we saw a 7/11 and a McDonalds. I mean really, where are we?
I touched base with Geoffrey and made plans for taking the train in the morning to Somerset West where we will go to a sculpture exhibit and then head to the mountains for the weekend. On his suggestion, Claire and I took a taxi to the waterfront to see the sunset. We walked around all the shops - Guess, Jimmy Choo, Louis Vitton - again, where the hell are we? We decided to have dinner at a thai place and between the view of the clouds on Table mountain, the sushi appetizer, pad thai noodles, live music and people watching..I was over come with joy. I was on vacation! A real vacation. One that will rejuvenate my soul for my final year.
After Haagen Daaz for dessert - yes, Haagen Daaz! - we headed back to Long St. where we ran into Obie, Mila and Katie finishing up their dinner. We headed to Mesopotamia (a Turkish restaurant) to smoke shishah from a hookah. My first true hookah experience. It was nice with the mint tea I was drinking. Afterwards it was seriously time for bed.
Friday, December 19 - Saturday, December 20 (early):
After breakfast, Claire walked me to the train station to head to Plumstead. It was cheap and easy to navigate and I had a splendid conversation with Donald, a retired financial something or other. Once there, I met Jodi and Felix - dancer friends of Janines - and we headed to Somerset West. Geoffrey’s place is amazing. Surrounded by a wild garden - this 150 year old house is quaint and comfortable. While they were preparing lunch I went for a swim in the pool - I can’t believe I’ll be staying here for a few days.
After lunch we went to a museum in Stellenbosch to see a Rodin exhibit. Driving through these well manicured streets and gated communities filled with amazing foliage…I really began to wonder where I was. Then we’d pass a township, which is basically a location, and I’d see the shacks where people desperately try to carve out a life and I’d remember - I’m in Africa.
The exhibit was brilliant but I was overwhelmed. All this beauty. All this creativity. It made me think about all the stimulation - creative or otherwise - I’ve received in my life. Every painting, TV sow, song, amusement park, county fair, family reunion, school play, Halloween - all of those millions of things that shaped who I am today. Shaped all of us. What if all of it was gone? Taken away? Erased. Who would we be? What kind of - if any - motivation would we have to exist? To succeed? To thrive? Those in my village that I am trying to help, face exactly that. They have had so little stimulus to feed their souls that the perceived laziness and apparent alcoholism seem very minor to how I think I’d behave.
We returned to Geoffrey’s where we packed the cars and headed to the mountain. This place is spectacular. A small, one room cottage, with a loft at the base of these enormous cliffs with a view of the town down below and the ocean beyond it. Even the toilet is outside, away from the house, with no walls - overlooking the valley. What a way to take a shit. I’m telling you.
I slept so peacefully last night and this morning during breakfast, enjoyed watching a group of baboons playing on the hillside. Today we are hiking towards the cliffs and I’m gonna swim in the pool formed by the stream running alongside the cottage. This is the perfect start to my 3 weeks in South Africa.
Saturday, December 20:
I hiked and explored the stream bed with Felix and Geoffrey. I always get recharged being in nature but it was great watching them because they are SO into it. Throughout the day I had amazing conversations with Geoff about spirituality, racism, apartheid, Africans - life in general. Our views seem to be similar though I feel his may go much deeper than mine. I don’t mean that mine are superficial, just that he’s done more contemplation in his life and that part of mine is just beginning. I thought we’d make it up to the cliffs today but that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Sunday, December 21:
Today, I got up and read a bit, then after breakfast - Felix, Geoff and I headed up the mountain. I wasn’t sure how far we’d get but after an hour so found ourselves at the base of the cliffs. The view was mind boggling. Felix headed back to the cabin because he needed to get back to Cape Town early. Geoff and I continued to explore, having great conversations long the way.
We decided to head back alon the stream bed which was amazing. Scrambling down rocks, taking breaks to swim in the pools. The only thing I kept freaking out about was all the spiderwebs with the big juicy inhabitants. I had a run-in with a giant spider when I was a boy and I suppose it scarred me.
We made it back to the cabin around 2:30, rested, packed up, swam some more, then headed down the mountain. I decided to have them drop me at the Shell station cause I figured it would be easier for Piet to pick me up. I’ve decided to stay with him for a bit.
H picked me up and came to his beautiful house with lush gardens and a nice warm pool. Really. Once again, where am I? He’s Afrikaaner and yet our conversations are very different from the ones I’ve had with whites in Namibia. He’s very laid back and doesn’t appear to be racist in any way. I am just slightly concerned about his motivations for letting me stay. He’s made some innocent sexual references even though I tried to make it clear on the internet prior to my coming, that it wasn’t part of my intention in finding free places to stay.
Monday, December 22:
Did I mention how badly I am peeling? It’s been so long since I’ve not had a lengthy, daily exposure to the sun that I am shedding like an under-watered Christmas tree. And speaking of which, it’s difficult for me to fathom that it’s in a couple of days. Even though I hear the music and see the decorations, I don’t feel festive. So another holiday I miss and another next year. Damn.
Yesterday Piet dropped me off at the local mall while he had a few hours work. I sat around and people watched. I became very aware of how all the wait staff, cleaning staff, etc. was black while ALL the people perusing the mall were white or colored. There were no Black Africans - which is a strange way to say it - shopping in the mall.
Somerset West is this absolutely beautiful place of big houses and rolling lawns and lush gardens with secured, fenced in properties filled with white Africans. While the blacks life outside of town in shacks - literally, shacks made out of tin and cement. It made me wonder about the US. If I looked around there would I notice all those jobs filled by African Americans? Have I just always been oblivious to it? Or is it really a mixture of everyone and so here the difference stands out more?
It’s interesting talking to Piet about it because he’s very liberal and accepting. He told me that he felt South Africa had a ways to go but that there was a time in recent history that they whites realized their parents were wrong about apartheid and ‘woke-up’. People in American can admit slavery was wrong but have we done anything or feel responsible for doing anything about it? Piet talks a lot about how here, people actually stand up to their government. They protest. Newspapers write actual truths. The public is not duped - like we are in America, he says. He said that most people here don’t believe Americans are really ‘free’ because of the bubble we are either forced or choose to lie in. I think I agree with him. We are so controlled and anesthetized by our world. The news keeps us in constant fear of the world around us. Magazines and television tell us what to buy, what to wear, how to feel about ourselves, what medication to take if we feel ‘off’ in any way and then give us 800 channels of mindless entertainment to keep us ‘distracted’. Doesn’t it make you think about the motivation behind all of that? Who is benefiting? Drug companies, media moguls, he government. I understand message in V for Vendetta. I understand why people risk their lives to stand up to their government. What I wonder, is if there are other Americans that feel the same, why aren’t we doing something about it?
Piet then points out that we are beginning to with the recent election. He compares the similarities between the change in South Africa and what’s going on in the states. Could Obama lead to an unimaginable new era in American History? God, I hope so. So after all that depth, I walked around Cape Town, exploring shops, craft markets, the beach - I’m finding it difficult thinking about returning to my village. I’m finding myself not really thinking about my village al all. Is that bad?
Tuesday, December 23 - Wednesday, December 24:
So the other day (damn, I just realized how often I start my journal with ‘so…’), Piet had a little somethin’ somethin’ planned for the morning, so I used his scooter to return DVDs (yes, I rented DVDs) and go pick up a bag at Geoffrey’s. Then he dropped me off at the train station so I could get back to Cape Town. I got my head shaved for R15 and then met up with Joe for lunch. He introduced me to Kris - a former front girl for a punk band in England, Dylan - who has a house in Sri Lanka, and Gretchen - an American VSO. All of them working in northern Namibia near me!
We had a great lunch of jerk chicken nachos at a dive called Mojito’s and then Piet met us there. He and I had planned on going to the botanical gardens, so he invited everyone to join. The gardens are at the base of Table mountain and are truly spectacular. We spent the rest of the afternoon there and in the process, I really got to know Dylan better. Great guy! And I have a place to stay in Sri Lanka whenever I want. Piet then offered to drive us to Cape Point the next day. Piet and I returned to Somerset and went to see ‘The Women’.
The morning of Christmas eve I found myself shopping with Pete for a gift for his mum. While in the bookstore, I started crying - it came out of nowhere. Homesickness brought on by the festiveness of the season around me. We finished there then headed to pick everyone up. Again, great conversation with Piet. I have a completely different take on Afrikaaners now - at least those of South Africa.
The drive to the point (where the 2 oceans meet) was breathtaking. It included ssing the penguins at Boulder’s Point, lunch in Simon’s Town - calamari, yum - and ending with probably the most amazing scenic views I’ve ever witnessed. On the top of the mountain, by the lighthouse, seeing 2 oceans at once. How do you come down from a high like that? I am also falling in love with Gretchen and Kris - they are wonderfully spirited.
Back in CT, I checked into my hostel, met up with the rest of the 27ers to go shopping for Christmas dinner (Mexican for Christmas in South Africa…hows that???) and then to Masal Dosa for dinner. It’s a lesbian owned Indian/Persian restaurant. We had 3 courses that included a sevi pevu appetizer, dosa for an entrée and cardamom flavored ice cream with crushed cashews for dessert. Seriously, how do I return to my village after this? Seriously!!
I then met up with Joe and we walked to Da Waterkant, which is the ‘gay’ area. It was early and there wasn’t much going on, but the night slowly gained momentum. The lack of black men was sort of shocking. It was ALL whites Afrikaaners or tourists and colored guys. Colored here is used for the descendants of blacks who married the Dutch and German settlers. It’s not a derogatory word like it is in the states.
I did talk to one guy from the Congo at Bronx and then got into a very nice conversation with David, a Kenyan, at Manhattens. Yes, both named after New York, lol. I then tried to real in Joe for the walk back to the hostel. Everyone had said don’t walk around at night, but I felt completely safe. Joe and David headed in one direction and I another. There was a street vender selling falafels which looked great so it became my first Christmas present to myself - since it was 2 in the morning! It was delicious. Too tired to brush my teeth I headed to bed with my ear plugs and slept soundly.
Thursday, December 25 - Friday, December 26 (early):
Christmas day. In Africa. Quite unlike the same day in America. I have found myself missing many elements of the holidays that in the states I complained about. What I miss the most is the energy. I do feel like, for a very short period, no matter who you are or what you believe, that during Christmas there is a small window where the majority of the world is at peace. You can feel it in the air. Thought I did feel it very slightly here, it wasn’t the same. Africa is an amazing continent with so many problems and no easy answers. In talking with other volunteers from different organizations and just people from all over Africa, it’s clear there aren’t any. Most people, sitting in their homes in other parts of the world are completely clueless to what actually goes on here and what it will or would take to incite change. Black Africans want progress and many want the things we have but they cling so tightly o traditional ways and most lack any sense of ‘thinking about tomorrow’ because of the struggle to survive each day. The task of change seems impossible. But enough philosophy.
Yesterday I hung with Claire a bit in the morning, had McDonalds! For lunch then met up with the rest of Nam27 to plan dinner. At one point I took a nap and then found myself on the balcony of the hostel having a conversation with 4 guys from Sydney, Holland, Morocco and Egypt. This sort of thing never happens in Cincinnati. The Egypt guy actually lives and teaches drama in Tsumeb! I want to stay in touch with him because he could possibly do something with my OVCs.
Christmas dinner was amazing and our Mexican fiesta - which we celebrated with volunteers from Mozambique - was festive. Afterwards we were all very tired and went our separate ways. Claire, her brother, and I came up here to the balcony and hung out with Odie, Andraak, Farol and Henshrid. I found myself having to stand up for Peace Corps with Andraak. He seemed to have a negative opinion of it. I finally got tired of staring at him and went to bed.
Today I’m going to hike Table mountain with some friends when head to Somerset to crash at Piet’s again before heading to Hermanis for a shark dive - NOT me…Dylan.
Friday, December 26 - Saturday, December 27:
Friday I was going to hike the mountain with some friends but they were hungover so I decided to explore some on my own. I ended up walking 3 hours to Camps Bay and hanging at the beach for a bit before cabbing it back to Long St. I grabbed some lunch, had a chat with a rasta then met up with Kris, Gretchen and Dylan for a movie. We missed ‘Twilight’ so saw ‘Madagascar 2’ instead, then grabbed our things before Piet picked us up for Somerset. We did a braai and then crashed.
Saturday we took our time leaving and headed to Hermanis around 11. We took our time, stopping and exploring the beauty along the way. We arrived in the afternoon, checked into the hostel then grabbed dinner. There is some tension between the girls and Dylan and so I find myself being sort of a buffer. It’s fine. I enjoy all 3 of them. When we got back to the hostel we had a beer and then played some cards. We were joined in our room by an older French woman who is sort of cranky. She kept complaining about the smell - which was Dylan’s feet mind you - but I’s a hostel, not a 5 star!
We were awoken around 3 in the morning to Dylan coming in drunk. He tried to jump into his bed and brought it down on top of the French woman - funny. Today we got up early to get to the place for the diving. I was concerned about seasickness but forgot Dramamine, so it was too late. I chugged ginger beer instead. It didn’t hit me until we were out in the water - in the cage IN the water - that I would be inches from a great white shark. It wasn’t long before one arrived. HUGE! About 15 ft long. The adrenalin was amazing! It sort of attacked the corner of our cage and then swam by rightin front of us - inches from us! Dam! How do you put that into words?
Once out of the cage I saw a few more up close throughout the day. Overall - WELL worth the R795. We returned to Hermanis and have been chilling with cards and TV. And gelato! Tonight I’m going to have great seafood with the other PCVs and tomorrow it’s off to Wildernis. How do I go back to the village after this? (tends to be the theme of this holiday). Kris is playing the guitar and singing in the other room right now. It’s beautiful.
Sunday, December 28 - Monday, December 29:
Sunday evening I enjoyed dinner with the other volunteers at a nice - well, very nice - steak house (instead of seafood). I then headed to bed while they watched ‘We are Marshall’. With no time schedule in the morning, the four of us took our time packing and heading out of Hermanis to Wildernis.
The drive here was breathtaking. So green and full of hills. Every time we crested a hill you could see miles and miles of hay fields, grazing lands, ostrich and sheep farms, winelands and forests. This part of South Africa is NOT how most Americans would visualize this continent. There were plenty of moments, as we wound out way through the pine covered hills, that I felt I was in the smokey mountains of KY or parts of Virginia.
We finally arrived at Asanti, which is like a hippie Afrikaaner camp ground complete with dreaded guys smoking hash and everyone walking around barefoot. Lots of tow headed children running around between what appears to be several different mothers. It’s like I’ve entered a grunge-like Arian love commune complete with nirvana being blasted in the common room. I taught the gang spades and while we waited for veggie lasagna to be prepared in a clay oven, we drank ciders and laughed our assess off. Tomorrow we go canoeing, kloofing and abseiling.
Tuesday, December 30:
We got up this morning, had a great breakfast, Dylan headed off for a whole day’s adventure and myself and the girls played cards until it was time to go abseiling. Kris introduced us to ‘shithead’ which is not my favorite card game ever! Jannis drove us to the adventure site and we headed into the canyon. It was breathtaking. Hanging off the side of this rocky cliff, hundreds of feet above a tidal pool. Abseiling is similar to repelling. We actually scaled down the cliff wall into the water. After a few times, some of us decided to swim and get in some kloofing - which is basically cliff diving. Mine was more like cliff cannon balling but at least now I can say I’ve ‘kloofed’.
We had decided to make pizza for dinner so we met up with Dylan afterwards to hit the store. Some drama went down over money then no one wante to make pizza anymore. There has been a lot of, well drama is the best word, going on with the 3 of them since I came into the picture I think it’s understandable when different personalities spend a lot of time together - especially when you are travelling. It hasn’t affected my vacation in any way, so I’m not really concerned.
The remainder of the night we played cards in a hash smoke infested pool room where I do believe I had somewhat of a contact buzz. It’s fun being the one not doing drugs in a crow of those partaking. It’s funny.
Wednesday, December 31:
Dylan and I spent 4 hours driving back to Cape Town through some of the most beautiful countryside I’ve ever seen. We got to Piet’s early and since he had lunch plans, we went to the beach for lunch. Piet drove us into town around 3 and I began the mad search for a place to rest my head. I only had to go to 2 places before I found something. I wish I had looked further. I was in a dorm room on the first floor directly next to the bar that was setting up the loud speakers for a party. Sleep? What is sleep? Lol.
Once I checked in and showered, I met up with the rest of the 27ers to figure out dinner. After deciding on the waterfront, we headed out. I had gotten an sms from a friend about a big street party in Green Point that I was considering attending, but at R400, I changed my mind.
We put our names in at an Italian place and hung outside with bottles of champaign in bags. We’re so classy, us PCVs. I really love these guys but am so aware of age when I hang with them.
We were finally seated inside when I got an sms from Justin telling me the party was only R250. I figured it was worth that much to hangout with a beer and be a little gay. I left my friends and headed to that part of town. The whole way there I questioned what I was doing leaving friends to hang with strangers on the final new years of my 30s. I walked past the various bars, noticing the cover charges and ended up with a cider at Manhattens. It seems to be the only one where you will find black African men. I sat alone, watching the crowd, realizing I was yet again, alone and melancholy knocked on the door. I just thought about my life and where I am and so on and started smiling. A really, big, shit-eating grin! I love my life and am very happy. It became clear that the only thing really missing was someone to share it with. This of course led me to think about Mark. And this led to me wanting to kiss a cute black boy to remind me of him. It didn’t happen. I was sitting on the curb, with a beer, alone when my phone told me it was 2009. It’s okay though. It really is.
I hung out pathetically there until around 1:30 then headed back to Long St. where I met up with the others and newbies that had arrived this week. We caught up, hung out til around 3:30 then all went home. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, my body shaking from the thump of the speakers, I wished everyone I knew a Happy New Year and drifted off.
Thursday, January 1 - Friday, January 2 (6 am):
New Years day was spent chilling and meandering. I went to breakfast at Rcafe for a ricotta stuffed omelet sandwich with chives on herb bread…delicious! I then hit an internet café for a bit before meeting up with the PCVs. The remainder of the day included lunch, Extreme Home Makeover and Chinese take-away.
I am sitting here this morning not being as introspective as I would have imagined. I know 40 is a milestone but right now it just feels like any other day. Age never has been an issue for me and I certainly don’t feel like I think I should. I guess the only thing I am contemplative about is why I’m alone at 40. I don’t think I’m lonely per se but I do want to share my life with someone and I wonder why it hasn’t happened yet. Well, I know why - my insecurities, my inability to commit - but I think I mean more about that ‘connection’ to someone that comes with full acceptance. That ‘match’ that I’ve felt on different levels in the past but why hasn’t’ it ‘stuck’? Am I too controlling? Not compromising? Too caught up in my own stuff? Too picky? Too judgmental? Yes, it’s probably call those things. Actually, even as I write all this, I realize I’m not all that concerned about it afterall. I won’t be 100% ready for a relationship until I heal and love myself enough to where I don’t ‘need’ one to fill any type of void. I feel closer to that place every day.
Friday, January 2 (the big 40!):
I don’t think I could have asked fro a better birthday. I intended to start with breakfast at Lola’s but they were not open so I had some yoghurt and muesli instead. Then, Nick, Milan and I went to the Turkish baths. Between the steam, sauna, and pool, I felt my pores open, release their toxins, and walked out refreshed and almost high. Nick and I decided to hunt for massages, but after no luck, had a lunch of greasy calamari and fish. We then perused the cxraft market for a bit before I split with them to head to the waterfront with Milan and Katie. There we boarded the ferry to Robbin Island to visit the prison where Mendella was incarcerated for 18 years. I thought it would be more emotional but between the ‘speed’ of the tour and the fact that I had never read his book, it was anti -climactic. The tour itself left you no time to just wander and absorb the history.
Once back at the Cape, we headed to the sushi place to meet up with the others. I proceeded to have the most delicious, extravagant meal I’ve had since I left the states. The fish was exquisite and I didn’t even flinch when my bill came to R300.
We grabbed Haagen Daaz afterwards and then walked to Green Point. The girls had never been to a gay bar so were full of questions and comments. Milan got cruised a lot and Nick even got a phone number but the birthday boy left that evening empty handed and without even a celebratory kiss, lol. We walked back to Long St. where I headed to bed.
Saturday, January 3:
I lost my camera today. The camera itself is not all that important but it’s loss is. First, every photo I’ve taken on my Cape Town holiday is gone. Second, I now have no means to take photos at my site. I’m upset but I’m not upset. It’s a strange thing. I truly am sad for those two reasons but then not as sad as I would have expected myself to be. I’m still trying to figure this one out.
I lost the camera hiking Table mountain. It was an amazing hike and the views were spectacular. I went up with Justin and Tom, 2 white South Africans. They semed like really nice guys. But then when they were taking me back to the hostel, we got stuck in some traffic caused by a carnival that was taking place It was some type of colored celebration. As people tried to cross the streets in front of us, the racist comments and name called began. I sat in uncomfortable silence. I wanted to say something but then was reminded of something Milan had said to me a few days earlier. ‘We don’t know their personal history’. True, I don’t. It still felt weird but then it occurred to me. I’ve been stuck in downtown Cincy during the Jazz festival before and though I never yelled obscenities at people, negative thoughts did fill my head. They were as blatant as this, but they were still comments directed at a specific group of people due to my own impatience. Are we all a little racist on some level due to our upbringing and society in general? It made me think of Mark and I. When people would discover he was black, there would sometimes be comments - not negative, just acknowledgment of him being black. I used to always say that ‘I don’t see color, I just see Mark’. I read an article in a local rag where a few days ago discussing that very thing. A black person was upset when someone said that. She commented, ‘Why wouldn’t you see my color?’. We are, as Americans, sometime so sanitized to be politically correct. To not see race. But to choose not to see it means we are not acknowledging our differences and in the process, eliminating what makes each of us special. It’s as though we are trying to homogenize the entire human race into a new category - but isn’t NOT labeling and judging people for their differences the main goal? I really understand the phrase celebrate diversity now. In order to fully accept another person you have to acknowledge their uniqueness.
Even with myself, I’ve always said that I’m neither ashamed nor proud of my sexuality - it’s just a part of who I am. But…it IS a part of who I am and not wanting people to necessarily know it outright tells me I may still have some shame in it. I’ve always liked the ft hat s people can’t ‘tell’ from looking at me. I’ve even felt lucky because of it. But that’s shame and embarrassment, isn’t it? If I truly, deep down, was 100% okay with who I was, it really wouldn’t matter if they could tell or not. I love realizations like this but then sometimes, when you think you’ve worked so hard on yourself, you dig a layer deeper and find more shit. The road to fully loving oneself is very long. I just hope I have the patience for it.
Sunday, January 4 - Tuesday, January 6:
Sunday was a chilled out day. It had to be - my legs were on fire! For whatever reason I can’t remember the rest of the day. Mark has been on my brain lately. I’m not sure if I mentioned this or not but I sent him an email a few days back - spilling my heart. I basically told him that I was in love with him still and wanted to try a long distance relationship. What was I expecting his response to be? It took him a few days to get back to me and I was a little sad - though understanding - of his unwillingness. He asked me how I knew I loved him. He then created a list of his reasons why he loved me. I sat there starring at them. They were all about him actually. I wanted to write back an tell him I know I loved him cause I felt it, but I thought I’d come up with a list as well. My list was ALL about him. I found that interesting. It then made me wonder - do our lists mesh?
I’m having my doubts that they do. I fear that Mark is in his head when it comes to me. His reasons were all things he did - he respected me, he worked hard to improve our relationship, he tried to make me happy every day - none of those are really about me. These email exchanges have shed some interesting light on our relationship.
Monday I had breakfast at Rcafe then went to the movies to see ‘Australia’. I then was picked up by Lwazi, a black South African, who was letting me cras at his place. This was very educational. His father is the major of Durban and he’s met Oprah. He’s had a very different experience than most blacks here. His house (that he only uses 2 months out of the year) is spectacular. I talked his ear off about race relations, especially within the gay community. Fascinating.
I heard again from Mark with a more intimate list of reasons why he loved me. I have no doubt that he has and does. I just wonder if there’s a chance for us to start anew at some point in the future.
Today, Lwazi drove me back to the Cape, I checked into Abantu for the night, met up with Nick, Heather and Natalie and hung for the day. I went and got my nose pierced before going for my tattoo. I love my new ink though I do wish I would have gotten the ‘ohm’ symbol in red. We went to dinner at a fantastic Ethiopian restaurant then grabbed a drink at Marvel. Overall, a perfect last night in the Cape.
Wednesday, January 7:
We got up early, packed up, grabbed breakfast, hiked to the train station, missed our train, found a minibus and got dropped off along the highway to begin our journey home. We were trying for about 90 minutes with nothing. We then decided Nick and I should stay hidden and just let the girls hike. Within minutes we had our first ride going 80k out of town. On the way there I sent a thank you sms to Piet and low and behold, he was 5 minutes from us on his way to vacation.
He offered 2 of us a ride 300k and though I was set to take it, the others were nervous about hiking alone in SA. I thanked Piet and apologized and sent him on his way. Within minutes a sheep truck stopped and Heather, not liking to turn down rides if people stop, accepted a 35k ride with Nick and I IN the back WITH the sheep. He was shat on several times during that. One for the books I supposed. Our next hike took us 20 minutes to get and 30k further. I kept thinking that if this was how we were creeping back to Windhoek, it would take a week.
At the next place, we grabbed food at a petrol station, then back to the road. After a bit, 4 PCVs who had rented a car stopped by and had room for both of Nick’s marimbas. Moments after, we were picked up by 2 young Afrikaaners going all the way to Windhoek - BUT…over the course of several days. They would take us to about 200k south of Keets. Good enough.
Last night, after spending almost 2 hours getting through customs at the border, we camped along the river. I slept outside, without a tent to the sound of the nearby water. It was wonderful.
Thursday, January 8 - Friday, January 9:
We got up and packed the truck and headed out. We had planned on getting out at the petrol station and hiking from there. Jacob said he could drop us outside Keets but he was going to drive through the canyons a bit to show Carla and did we want to tag along. Sure!
The desert was amazing, hot and beautiful. AT one point we found ourselves at a lodge where we snuck in and swam for a bit. Jacob then showed us on the map where his grandfather’s game ranch was and said that we were welcome to stay the night and go to Sossusvlei the next day with them. It took me a split second to say yes while the others pondered.
We drove to the ranch which seemed to be located at the edge of the world. Once there, we jumped in a water tank/pool to cool off. The place was deserted. It was opulent - leather couches, satellite TV, beds with pillows, lol. I had been thinking on the drive out there that who in their right mind would want to live in the desert…even more isolated than I had felt in Mpungu? But that evening, with the sunset and the cool breeze - I understood what the draw was. We made sandwiches, had some wine and then I slept on the ground again. It was too nice not to.
We got up, packed and headed to Sossusvlei. On the way we stopped at a lodge for breakfast. And what did we do after breakfast you might ask? We went in a pen with 3 full grown cheetahs and petted them. OMG! When does shit like this happen? It goes down as one of the most amazing experiences of my life. They were purring so loudly, licking our hands and nibbling our fingers. Damn. (I’m sure they were thinking - tastes like chicken!), lol
We then drove to the dunes - the oldest desert on the planet to be exact. It’s called the world’s largest sandbox. Again…beautiful and amazing. We climbed one of the smaller dunes which was difficult enough. The sand was burning hot and the angle very steep. We went from there to a lodge for a drunk and though we wanted to sneak into their pool - we did not. We began our journey back towards Moltehore. The 3 of them decided, at 7 pm, to go to the petrol station and try to hike to Mariental. I had had enough for one day, so here I was, alone at the backpackers. The only guest, sitting at a table, watching the sun set, listening to my Ipod and journaling. I’m actually tearing up because I am so happy…so at peace. This ends one of the most amazing vacations I’ve ever taken. I’m ready to go home to my village and complete my final year with the Peace Corps. PC is the greatest thing I’ve ever chosen to do with my life on so many levels. I hope I can take this calmness and contentedness back to the states with me.
Saturday, January 10:
Got up early, showered, paid my bill and headed into ‘town’. As I looked around, I began to fear that my chances of getting out were going to be slim. The previous night I had had an interesting conversation with David - the French guy who owns the place - and his mother. It’s funny to me how I’ve been afraid most of my life to engage people on a daily basis. I’ve realized that when you don’t, you miss out on SO much.
Within an hour I got a lift to Mariental. I thought I was going to have to pay ut it was free. Could I really make it to and from Cape Town with NO money? Hells yeah I could! I grabbed some breakfast at Wimpy’s. My new year’s resolution to eat healthier is very difficult to keep when hitchhiking through Africa, lol. I snagged a ride to Windhoek in about 20 minutes and arrived few hours later.
I got dropped off in front of Chameleon just as Thea was walking out and though they were full, she had an extra bed and invited me to sleep in her room. We ran by the PC office, then grabbed lunch at the craft market with some other PCVs. Then it was back to Chameleon for a swim and some chillin’. Later, some of us went for pizza while others went to Joe’s beer house. Afterwards, Catherine and I came back for a movie and everyone else went to a wine bar. I was happy to be in bed before 10.
Sunday, January 11 - Tuesday, January 13:
Sunday was spent meeting up with the other PCVs at the office and waiting around for transport to Graeter’s. Once there, we swam, caught up, had dinner, and began the huge movie swap. Over the next two days we sat through many sessions that bored us and drove us a little crazy. Again, the most important thing was collecting new movies, lol. It’s been great seeing everyone and sharing our successes and non-success (I’m learning no to call them failures). I feel like I am in such a different place than I was a year ago. No anxiousness. Very little fear. I am more pumped to return to site and knock-em dead with my energy. This next year is going to ROCK!
Wednesday, January 14 - Thursday, January 15:
The last couple of days in Windhoek have been okay. I did some work for VSN, hung out with the others that have to stay behind an used the internet. I have to stay an extra week to have a crown replaced. I remember when I first arrived in Namibia that I thought I would travel to the big city more often because I would need to - emotionally, that is. But I am really ready to get back to the village. I miss it. Besides, when you are out of money and there are no good movies playing at the theater, what else can you do here? Lol
Friday, January 16:
More Windhoek today. It dawned on me that I could have hiked to Swakopmund for 5 more days of the beach before my appt. on Monday. That was really silly of me.
Saturday, January 17 -Tuesday, January 21:
So…more days in Windhoek - biding my time between the internet, TV and the mall. Sounds like I’m back in the states, eh? Had my dentist appt. and I am ready to go.
I took a ride up one of the big hills overlooking Windhoek with a friend the other night. It was quiet and the lights were beautiful. It made me miss home - my new home, Mpungu.
I’ve been seeing a lot of the inauguration stuff on TV and that’s been amazing. I hope I make it to Rundu on Tuesday in time to see his speech. I do find it interesting that so many Africans are thinking that Obama is going to come to their rescue. He has enough on his plate with our country to handle first. We need to strengthen the US before we can reach out to other nations again. This wonderful man has so much on his shoulders. He will be in my thoughts daily.
Got to the hike point early and got a ride to Otavi within 15 minutes. A sweet elderly guy. Once there, I waited about an hour for a ride to Groot - the black hole. There, I waited about 90 minutes and got a ride in a semi. They are always comfortable and reliable but take longer because they cannot go faster than 80k an hour.
I mae it to Rundu at 6:30, got a taxi to Rachel’s principals house with time to spare before the swearing in. It was nice to see it with other Americans. The only problem was that his Afrikaaner wife kept interjecting her thoughts and opinions. She and I butted heads about 9/11. She kept saying I’ve been brainwashed - I just wanted to smack her. She’s not even American, so I felt she didn’t have a right to argue, lol.
I’ve talked to Mr. Kuwema about transport but I have to stay another day in Rundu. I’ll be home by Thursday…Thank God.
Thursday, January 22 - Wednesday, January 28:
I finally arrived back at site today. I took all day to figure out transport and I wound up unloading a shit load of stuff into my flat at 8:30pm. My house was intact with a few new cobwebs here and there. I was exhausted but went and chatted with my neighbors a bit before heading to bed.
Friday was spent unpacking everything - donated stuff as well as my 10 Christmas packages! I am so blessed! I scored as well as my OVCs. I discovered that someone had cut our hose for the garden. It’s weird. They didn’t just steal the hose. They took a portion of it and now it’s not long enough to reach certain things. Sucks. My personal garden was a mess. Most everything has died and it was full of weeds. Guess my neighbor didn’t really want the R20 a week I had promised her. The big garden was in decent shape. The corn is growing well and so are the tomatoes and butternut squash. Yes, my initial reaction was…why isn’t it over flowing with bounty? Lol. But I’ve learned to appreciate the little things and make them huge!
I spent the weekend just cleaning my flat and organizing with a movie and a video game thrown in from time to time.
Monday I worked from my flat and I honestly can’t remember what I accomplished. Tuesday prepared for my OVCs. They were really excited for me to be back. I brought up the idea of breaking into 2 smaller groups - older and younger - and they jumped on it. This ultimately creates more work for me but it’s easier work. It was getting too difficult to find things to fit all the age ranges. I introduced the point system to them. It’s a way for them to earn points on behavior, grades, attendance, etc. that they can spend on school supplies and fun stuff. They LOVED the idea and LOVE seeing the chart on the wall with their names and the points they are collecting. We watched Charlotte’s Web and took it easy.
Today, I prepared for the first day of the older group. Once again my translator was very late but one of the kids took over and did it. Damien…he’s amazing! They created posters about ‘what I want my life to look like when I’m older’. They cut out pictures from magazines. It was great fun to watch them work. Many of the guys cut out pictures of hot cars and sexy white women, lol. The girls cut out pictures of nice clothes, attractive black men, pictures of families, etc. It’s funny…no matter where in the world you find yourself, those gender differences are apparent at such an early age.
Yesterday we piled and I do mean PILED into Sarah’s parent’s rented car and headed back to her site. It was fun to watch and listen to them and remember what it was like for us the first time we rode on that road. Their comments and oohs and ahhs. It was also really great to chat with them. They are awesome and Sarah is very lucky to have parents like that. So open and accepting. I realize everyone at some point thinks someone else has it better and that’s not what I mean. I just mean they are really cool people.
Once at her site we unpacked and I tried to contact my ride only to discover it wasn’t coming. I then thought I was going to have to try and hike with all this stuff which would NOT have been fun. I contacted my supervisor and discovered he was heading back from Rundu and would gladly pick me up. We then walked her parents around Nkurenkuru a bit though there was nothing much going on given it was a Sunday. It was still neat to watch their reactions to everything.
When Lyambezi showed up for my ride I discovered Eddie, the couchsurfer from New Orleans in the back. He and I had been making plans for him to come visit my site for a few weeks but I was never sure exactly when he was heading this way. Synchronicity man. We chatted on the drive back and I welcomed him to my place in Mpungu.
The past few days have been great having someone around and yet at the same time I’ve gotten so used to being on my own that I can feel that part of myself wanting my space again. Don’t get me wrong, he’s been a GREAT guest and I’ve never felt like I have to entertain him. He’s a Christian, but very laid back and he’s on this journey of hiking around Africa for about 4-6 months. After he leaves my place next week he begins making his way to Cairo.
My OVCs on Tuesday was great fun! I made them peanut butter sandwiches and we watched Harry Potter and the Scorcerer’s Stone. I then presented them with some school supplies that I was able to purchase thanks to Kim, Becky and Kim’s sister. They had sent me money earlier the past week and now they are going to start collecting donations throughout the coming year from clients in order for me to always have money for the kids. I might even be able to feed them each week. They were really happy!
Yesterday I had a meeting about the garden and I had to be a bit stern with them. The garden is NOT being watered regularly and things are dying. I am honestly worried about what will happen while I am gone for a month, but I hope they will maintain it responsibly.
I have been trying to work out transport for the fruit trees from Rundu and finally nailed down a day when I could have the truck. I then tried to contact the Ministry but with no cell network I had to purchase a phone card and use a pay phone - which is a pain in the ass. The first day the woman told me that Faustinus was out in the bush - IN MPUNGU - and could not be reached. She said she didn’t know what I was talking about (ie. the trees). I then called back the next day and a different woman said she’d check and that I should call back in an hour. I called back and a man answered. He didn’t know what I was talking about and started telling me about the proper procedure of doing things and that I needed to submit things in writing. Blah blah blah… I cut him off and explained that I had done all that and spoken directly to Faustinus. He said that I should wait until Monday when he is back. Next week is my last week and if I wait til then to get the trees then I only have a few days to plant 200 trees on the clinic site. On top of that I am supposed to go to Windhoek for an impression of a crown for replacement AND my money for the theater project is supposed to come in and I want to go there to purchase the equipment. When it rains it pours. Days and days without nothing to do and then BAM! A week of non-stop activity.
Saturday, December 6 (early morning):
An interesting thing happened yesterday. I received a text from either Alex or Christine, probably Christine, though I had erased all the 26ers phone numbers from my cells because they were heading home. She said she had just read my blog for the first time and was sorry that I felt that way about them. It took me a minute to understand what she meant. She said she was going to forward my blog to Dinah and John - though I didn’t really understand why that was necessary.
See…my blog is basically my journal cut and pasted. My journal is my personal experience here in Africa - every part of my personal experience. It does exactly what a journal is supposed to do. You use a journal to emote into and hopefully gain insight into yourself in the process. Most people’s are private and not available for public viewing. I choose to put mine out there for my friends and the world to see because of 2 reasons. 1. Someone might have insight into what I’m feeling and can help me see something I cannot. 2. Someone might be going through the same thing or feeling the same way and it’s nice to know ‘you’re not the only one’ sometimes.
After the text sunk in, I went to this worried, stomach turning place and I thought to myself, what’s the lesson in this? If my experience here is all about personal growth, why am I feeling weird and uncomfortable? What is there to learn? At first I thought it might be a lesson in NOT sharing everything I’m feeling with the world. This came from thinking that now I have repercussions to face when the VSOs return. And then, without much more contemplation I realized that NO. The lesson here is about standing up for myself and truly not caring what people think - which is something I’ve struggled with my entire life.
If Dinah and John, more so Dinah, choose to take personally my ‘in the moment’ feelings about a given situation, I have no control over that. The words in my journal depict how I am feeling at that time and do not always express my general consensus about a given person or situation. This is who I am. I am an out loud processor. It’s what keeps me mentally healthy and stress free. It keeps me from hanging on to negative shit and letting it eat away at me. I cannot change who I am in this regard because I’m worried about what someone else thinks of me.
I do not apologize for anything that is written in my journal. I’m not writing a story or trying to tell some fictitious tale about my experience. It’s David, raw and exposed. I spent too many years as a child and adolescent keeping my feelings, thoughts and beliefs locked up inside me for fear of the judgment of others. THAT’S not who I am any more.
Sunday, December 7 - Thursday, December 11:
This is my last week here before heading to the Cape for vacation. Can I just say that I understand the phrase ‘chomping at the bit’ now? I am so eager to go and yet at the same time, I feel like In the past two weeks I have begun to fall in love with this place. Funny huh? I still need a break - TRUST ME! But things are finally starting to fall into place and funds are coming in and connections for funds are being made - so I no longer feel like my hands are tied.
I made a great ‘re-connection’ with my church, New Though Unity Center . The few that I am email back and forth with seem to be very eager to jump into some of my projects here. It will be awesome to have their support - emotionally and spiritually as WELL as financially.
Monday morning Eddie and I got up early and rode to Rundu with the car that needed to be repaired. I thought it worked out great to accomplish some things in town, get him a ride, as well as pick up some of my trees from the Ministry of Forestry. Well, NAMIBIA NAMIBIA, I was stuck there for the night so I crashed at Cobra’s place. Then, the car wasn’t ready until 4:30 the following day. We raced to the Ministry only to discover that people were clocking out and no one wanted to do the paperwork. THEN, some woman who I’d never came out Faustinus and said that we didn’t have the right paperwork or official stamps and couldn’t have this or that. I was furious. 4 months I’ve been working on this…I wasn’t ABOUT to leave without trees in the back of our car. I bitched and moaned and caused a rucous and rode back to Mpungu happily with 50 guava and papaya trees!
I’ve been planting a few trees each day to get them in the ground before I leave. I had my last meeting about the upcoming event and the garden with the group. We rearranged the schedule again in hopes that the garden would not die while I was gone. We also made final plans for the HIV awareness event on Saturday. I introduced a new game that got them really excited.
OH I didn’t even tell you the best news - I got a text that the money for my theater project was deposited into my account. So I am leaving a few days earlier in order to go to Windhoek and purchase the equipment. That way, it’s in the Peace Corps office and when the Rundu driver comes down for repair, he can bring it back for me. You have no idea how excited I am about getting this project going. Also, once we have rapid testing at our clinic, we will become mobile. I now just need to write a proposal for a generator so that we can go into the bush and show movies, do HIV education and HIV testing in villages 20-30k away. This next year is going to be GREAT! I have it all planned out what I am going to accomplish and the funds should be here to do everything.
Right now Sakeus and Jaffe have stopped by to watch a movie. I have my Christmas lights on, Christmas tree from Patti lit and playing holiday music. They are dancing like they were in a club. It’s cute and great and yes, I’m LOVING this.
Friday, December 12 - Saturday, December 13:
I don’t remember much about Friday, but the event on Saturday was successful and everyone had a great time. Now begins my journey south to Cape Town. On the way to the hike point I was picked up by a car going to Nkurenkuru via Zone. I took it for fear of not finding another. I have never been to Zone. It’s very green and lush there. It continues to amaze me that you can turn off of a main road, travel a couple of kilometers through nothing and then come upon a village. I am sitting under a tree while the driver visits with his family at the homestead. Isn’t it funny…? In the states we’d never pick up a hitchhiker let alone take him/her with us to our relatives’ house. Here it’s just part of life. I hope to make it to Rundu today and travel to Windhoek tomorrow. I am SO ready for this vacation!
Tonight, after it taking close to 6 hours to reach Rundu, was probably the bumpiest hike of my life. I hung out with Cedar and Kerri and went to bed early .
Sunday, December 14:
We got up early to hit the road. I went to the TRC first to make a sign and grab my tent - though I decided I didn’t really need it. I went to the hike point before them but after an hour, they arrived and I still hadn’t snagged a ride. About 30 minutes later we ALL got a ride in the back of an el camino type car. It was dreary and overcast and we thought for sure we’d get rained on. With it being so cloudy, none of us thought to put on sunscreen. Between that and how cold it was, who knew we’d arrive in Windhoek, 7 hours later - battered, sore, necks cramped and burnt to a crisp! You could cook eggs on our faces and legs. It’s really scary sometimes how intense the African sun is.
We dropped our bags at the place Kerri and Cedar were staying (where I am crashing on the floor) and I went to the PC lounge for the internet. SCORE! It was full of stuff the 26ers left behind. I now have stickers, a tape measure, bras, clothes, books, CD cases and many other things to use as prizes for our HIV awareness events. I also talked to Stephanie in the office about having ALL the clothes shipped north if no one claimed them.
I went to the store to buy stuff to make a salad for dinner and then they decided to go for pizza at the mall. I went along for the company and in taking a short cut, we found ourselves in a fair ground like area that was deserted. We ended up having to climb a barbed wire fence to get out.
Monday, December 15 - Wednesday, December 17:
The last few days have been rushing around trying to get everything for the theater project. Yesterday at 3:00 when I bought the last piece and felt like my vacation had officially started. I got all the equipment back into the storage at the PC office. I also met up with my friend Karel who used to live in Mpungu. Then last night Jehan and I went to dinner and had a blast. I’ve always really enjoyed her but this was the most 1 on 1 time we’ve had. We walked from there to the Chameleon where Claire was staying and hung out for a bit. This morning we got up early to start hiking around 8 am. After 3 hours, Carlos who is driving all the way to Cape Town, picked us up. A free ride ALL the way.
I’ve never been south of Windhoek and I can say this…I like the north MUCH better. We’ve been driving now for like 5 hours in nothing. Total desert. I mean literally nothing! Towns are spaced about 300k form one another. I feel like I am in ‘The Hills Have Eyes 3’.
Thursday, December 18:
This morning, Claire and I arrived at Long St. at 3:00 am. We had not even gotten our bags out of the car when we were offered to buy some weed. We said goodbye to Carlos - forgot my Nalgene in his car - and started looking for a hostel. Fortunately the first one we stopped at had a twin room so we took it, brushed our teeth and went right to bed.
I awoke at 7, not ever being able to sleep in and we packed, moved our things to the hostel Claire had reservations at, and went to breakfast. Croissants stuffed with scrambled eggs, portabella mushrooms, fresh basil and parmesean. After a year in the village - this was heaven. Speaking of food, I forgot to mention that the night before, Carlos stopped in Springbok and bought us dinner. He was very sweet.
After breakfast we walked around, bought some jewelry, a painting and a tapestry at the craft market, bought our South African phone cards from a Persian guy from Toronto and had another great meal for lunch. This place is amazing. So beautiful and so diverse. The only downside so far is that I am more aware -after being in the corps for a year - that all the service staff - everywhere you go - is black. Maybe it’s something I never noticed in the states, but here it’s so apparent.
Long St. is similar to gaslight Clifton in that it’s hip, laid back - you see dreads and tattoos and supermodels. Seriously, supermodels! We kept thinking we’d run into the other PCVs that are here but they continued to elude us.
I stopped by a tattoo place to schedule an appt. A year in the bush deserves a mark. When we walking around we saw a 7/11 and a McDonalds. I mean really, where are we?
I touched base with Geoffrey and made plans for taking the train in the morning to Somerset West where we will go to a sculpture exhibit and then head to the mountains for the weekend. On his suggestion, Claire and I took a taxi to the waterfront to see the sunset. We walked around all the shops - Guess, Jimmy Choo, Louis Vitton - again, where the hell are we? We decided to have dinner at a thai place and between the view of the clouds on Table mountain, the sushi appetizer, pad thai noodles, live music and people watching..I was over come with joy. I was on vacation! A real vacation. One that will rejuvenate my soul for my final year.
After Haagen Daaz for dessert - yes, Haagen Daaz! - we headed back to Long St. where we ran into Obie, Mila and Katie finishing up their dinner. We headed to Mesopotamia (a Turkish restaurant) to smoke shishah from a hookah. My first true hookah experience. It was nice with the mint tea I was drinking. Afterwards it was seriously time for bed.
Friday, December 19 - Saturday, December 20 (early):
After breakfast, Claire walked me to the train station to head to Plumstead. It was cheap and easy to navigate and I had a splendid conversation with Donald, a retired financial something or other. Once there, I met Jodi and Felix - dancer friends of Janines - and we headed to Somerset West. Geoffrey’s place is amazing. Surrounded by a wild garden - this 150 year old house is quaint and comfortable. While they were preparing lunch I went for a swim in the pool - I can’t believe I’ll be staying here for a few days.
After lunch we went to a museum in Stellenbosch to see a Rodin exhibit. Driving through these well manicured streets and gated communities filled with amazing foliage…I really began to wonder where I was. Then we’d pass a township, which is basically a location, and I’d see the shacks where people desperately try to carve out a life and I’d remember - I’m in Africa.
The exhibit was brilliant but I was overwhelmed. All this beauty. All this creativity. It made me think about all the stimulation - creative or otherwise - I’ve received in my life. Every painting, TV sow, song, amusement park, county fair, family reunion, school play, Halloween - all of those millions of things that shaped who I am today. Shaped all of us. What if all of it was gone? Taken away? Erased. Who would we be? What kind of - if any - motivation would we have to exist? To succeed? To thrive? Those in my village that I am trying to help, face exactly that. They have had so little stimulus to feed their souls that the perceived laziness and apparent alcoholism seem very minor to how I think I’d behave.
We returned to Geoffrey’s where we packed the cars and headed to the mountain. This place is spectacular. A small, one room cottage, with a loft at the base of these enormous cliffs with a view of the town down below and the ocean beyond it. Even the toilet is outside, away from the house, with no walls - overlooking the valley. What a way to take a shit. I’m telling you.
I slept so peacefully last night and this morning during breakfast, enjoyed watching a group of baboons playing on the hillside. Today we are hiking towards the cliffs and I’m gonna swim in the pool formed by the stream running alongside the cottage. This is the perfect start to my 3 weeks in South Africa.
Saturday, December 20:
I hiked and explored the stream bed with Felix and Geoffrey. I always get recharged being in nature but it was great watching them because they are SO into it. Throughout the day I had amazing conversations with Geoff about spirituality, racism, apartheid, Africans - life in general. Our views seem to be similar though I feel his may go much deeper than mine. I don’t mean that mine are superficial, just that he’s done more contemplation in his life and that part of mine is just beginning. I thought we’d make it up to the cliffs today but that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Sunday, December 21:
Today, I got up and read a bit, then after breakfast - Felix, Geoff and I headed up the mountain. I wasn’t sure how far we’d get but after an hour so found ourselves at the base of the cliffs. The view was mind boggling. Felix headed back to the cabin because he needed to get back to Cape Town early. Geoff and I continued to explore, having great conversations long the way.
We decided to head back alon the stream bed which was amazing. Scrambling down rocks, taking breaks to swim in the pools. The only thing I kept freaking out about was all the spiderwebs with the big juicy inhabitants. I had a run-in with a giant spider when I was a boy and I suppose it scarred me.
We made it back to the cabin around 2:30, rested, packed up, swam some more, then headed down the mountain. I decided to have them drop me at the Shell station cause I figured it would be easier for Piet to pick me up. I’ve decided to stay with him for a bit.
H picked me up and came to his beautiful house with lush gardens and a nice warm pool. Really. Once again, where am I? He’s Afrikaaner and yet our conversations are very different from the ones I’ve had with whites in Namibia. He’s very laid back and doesn’t appear to be racist in any way. I am just slightly concerned about his motivations for letting me stay. He’s made some innocent sexual references even though I tried to make it clear on the internet prior to my coming, that it wasn’t part of my intention in finding free places to stay.
Monday, December 22:
Did I mention how badly I am peeling? It’s been so long since I’ve not had a lengthy, daily exposure to the sun that I am shedding like an under-watered Christmas tree. And speaking of which, it’s difficult for me to fathom that it’s in a couple of days. Even though I hear the music and see the decorations, I don’t feel festive. So another holiday I miss and another next year. Damn.
Yesterday Piet dropped me off at the local mall while he had a few hours work. I sat around and people watched. I became very aware of how all the wait staff, cleaning staff, etc. was black while ALL the people perusing the mall were white or colored. There were no Black Africans - which is a strange way to say it - shopping in the mall.
Somerset West is this absolutely beautiful place of big houses and rolling lawns and lush gardens with secured, fenced in properties filled with white Africans. While the blacks life outside of town in shacks - literally, shacks made out of tin and cement. It made me wonder about the US. If I looked around there would I notice all those jobs filled by African Americans? Have I just always been oblivious to it? Or is it really a mixture of everyone and so here the difference stands out more?
It’s interesting talking to Piet about it because he’s very liberal and accepting. He told me that he felt South Africa had a ways to go but that there was a time in recent history that they whites realized their parents were wrong about apartheid and ‘woke-up’. People in American can admit slavery was wrong but have we done anything or feel responsible for doing anything about it? Piet talks a lot about how here, people actually stand up to their government. They protest. Newspapers write actual truths. The public is not duped - like we are in America, he says. He said that most people here don’t believe Americans are really ‘free’ because of the bubble we are either forced or choose to lie in. I think I agree with him. We are so controlled and anesthetized by our world. The news keeps us in constant fear of the world around us. Magazines and television tell us what to buy, what to wear, how to feel about ourselves, what medication to take if we feel ‘off’ in any way and then give us 800 channels of mindless entertainment to keep us ‘distracted’. Doesn’t it make you think about the motivation behind all of that? Who is benefiting? Drug companies, media moguls, he government. I understand message in V for Vendetta. I understand why people risk their lives to stand up to their government. What I wonder, is if there are other Americans that feel the same, why aren’t we doing something about it?
Piet then points out that we are beginning to with the recent election. He compares the similarities between the change in South Africa and what’s going on in the states. Could Obama lead to an unimaginable new era in American History? God, I hope so. So after all that depth, I walked around Cape Town, exploring shops, craft markets, the beach - I’m finding it difficult thinking about returning to my village. I’m finding myself not really thinking about my village al all. Is that bad?
Tuesday, December 23 - Wednesday, December 24:
So the other day (damn, I just realized how often I start my journal with ‘so…’), Piet had a little somethin’ somethin’ planned for the morning, so I used his scooter to return DVDs (yes, I rented DVDs) and go pick up a bag at Geoffrey’s. Then he dropped me off at the train station so I could get back to Cape Town. I got my head shaved for R15 and then met up with Joe for lunch. He introduced me to Kris - a former front girl for a punk band in England, Dylan - who has a house in Sri Lanka, and Gretchen - an American VSO. All of them working in northern Namibia near me!
We had a great lunch of jerk chicken nachos at a dive called Mojito’s and then Piet met us there. He and I had planned on going to the botanical gardens, so he invited everyone to join. The gardens are at the base of Table mountain and are truly spectacular. We spent the rest of the afternoon there and in the process, I really got to know Dylan better. Great guy! And I have a place to stay in Sri Lanka whenever I want. Piet then offered to drive us to Cape Point the next day. Piet and I returned to Somerset and went to see ‘The Women’.
The morning of Christmas eve I found myself shopping with Pete for a gift for his mum. While in the bookstore, I started crying - it came out of nowhere. Homesickness brought on by the festiveness of the season around me. We finished there then headed to pick everyone up. Again, great conversation with Piet. I have a completely different take on Afrikaaners now - at least those of South Africa.
The drive to the point (where the 2 oceans meet) was breathtaking. It included ssing the penguins at Boulder’s Point, lunch in Simon’s Town - calamari, yum - and ending with probably the most amazing scenic views I’ve ever witnessed. On the top of the mountain, by the lighthouse, seeing 2 oceans at once. How do you come down from a high like that? I am also falling in love with Gretchen and Kris - they are wonderfully spirited.
Back in CT, I checked into my hostel, met up with the rest of the 27ers to go shopping for Christmas dinner (Mexican for Christmas in South Africa…hows that???) and then to Masal Dosa for dinner. It’s a lesbian owned Indian/Persian restaurant. We had 3 courses that included a sevi pevu appetizer, dosa for an entrée and cardamom flavored ice cream with crushed cashews for dessert. Seriously, how do I return to my village after this? Seriously!!
I then met up with Joe and we walked to Da Waterkant, which is the ‘gay’ area. It was early and there wasn’t much going on, but the night slowly gained momentum. The lack of black men was sort of shocking. It was ALL whites Afrikaaners or tourists and colored guys. Colored here is used for the descendants of blacks who married the Dutch and German settlers. It’s not a derogatory word like it is in the states.
I did talk to one guy from the Congo at Bronx and then got into a very nice conversation with David, a Kenyan, at Manhattens. Yes, both named after New York, lol. I then tried to real in Joe for the walk back to the hostel. Everyone had said don’t walk around at night, but I felt completely safe. Joe and David headed in one direction and I another. There was a street vender selling falafels which looked great so it became my first Christmas present to myself - since it was 2 in the morning! It was delicious. Too tired to brush my teeth I headed to bed with my ear plugs and slept soundly.
Thursday, December 25 - Friday, December 26 (early):
Christmas day. In Africa. Quite unlike the same day in America. I have found myself missing many elements of the holidays that in the states I complained about. What I miss the most is the energy. I do feel like, for a very short period, no matter who you are or what you believe, that during Christmas there is a small window where the majority of the world is at peace. You can feel it in the air. Thought I did feel it very slightly here, it wasn’t the same. Africa is an amazing continent with so many problems and no easy answers. In talking with other volunteers from different organizations and just people from all over Africa, it’s clear there aren’t any. Most people, sitting in their homes in other parts of the world are completely clueless to what actually goes on here and what it will or would take to incite change. Black Africans want progress and many want the things we have but they cling so tightly o traditional ways and most lack any sense of ‘thinking about tomorrow’ because of the struggle to survive each day. The task of change seems impossible. But enough philosophy.
Yesterday I hung with Claire a bit in the morning, had McDonalds! For lunch then met up with the rest of Nam27 to plan dinner. At one point I took a nap and then found myself on the balcony of the hostel having a conversation with 4 guys from Sydney, Holland, Morocco and Egypt. This sort of thing never happens in Cincinnati. The Egypt guy actually lives and teaches drama in Tsumeb! I want to stay in touch with him because he could possibly do something with my OVCs.
Christmas dinner was amazing and our Mexican fiesta - which we celebrated with volunteers from Mozambique - was festive. Afterwards we were all very tired and went our separate ways. Claire, her brother, and I came up here to the balcony and hung out with Odie, Andraak, Farol and Henshrid. I found myself having to stand up for Peace Corps with Andraak. He seemed to have a negative opinion of it. I finally got tired of staring at him and went to bed.
Today I’m going to hike Table mountain with some friends when head to Somerset to crash at Piet’s again before heading to Hermanis for a shark dive - NOT me…Dylan.
Friday, December 26 - Saturday, December 27:
Friday I was going to hike the mountain with some friends but they were hungover so I decided to explore some on my own. I ended up walking 3 hours to Camps Bay and hanging at the beach for a bit before cabbing it back to Long St. I grabbed some lunch, had a chat with a rasta then met up with Kris, Gretchen and Dylan for a movie. We missed ‘Twilight’ so saw ‘Madagascar 2’ instead, then grabbed our things before Piet picked us up for Somerset. We did a braai and then crashed.
Saturday we took our time leaving and headed to Hermanis around 11. We took our time, stopping and exploring the beauty along the way. We arrived in the afternoon, checked into the hostel then grabbed dinner. There is some tension between the girls and Dylan and so I find myself being sort of a buffer. It’s fine. I enjoy all 3 of them. When we got back to the hostel we had a beer and then played some cards. We were joined in our room by an older French woman who is sort of cranky. She kept complaining about the smell - which was Dylan’s feet mind you - but I’s a hostel, not a 5 star!
We were awoken around 3 in the morning to Dylan coming in drunk. He tried to jump into his bed and brought it down on top of the French woman - funny. Today we got up early to get to the place for the diving. I was concerned about seasickness but forgot Dramamine, so it was too late. I chugged ginger beer instead. It didn’t hit me until we were out in the water - in the cage IN the water - that I would be inches from a great white shark. It wasn’t long before one arrived. HUGE! About 15 ft long. The adrenalin was amazing! It sort of attacked the corner of our cage and then swam by rightin front of us - inches from us! Dam! How do you put that into words?
Once out of the cage I saw a few more up close throughout the day. Overall - WELL worth the R795. We returned to Hermanis and have been chilling with cards and TV. And gelato! Tonight I’m going to have great seafood with the other PCVs and tomorrow it’s off to Wildernis. How do I go back to the village after this? (tends to be the theme of this holiday). Kris is playing the guitar and singing in the other room right now. It’s beautiful.
Sunday, December 28 - Monday, December 29:
Sunday evening I enjoyed dinner with the other volunteers at a nice - well, very nice - steak house (instead of seafood). I then headed to bed while they watched ‘We are Marshall’. With no time schedule in the morning, the four of us took our time packing and heading out of Hermanis to Wildernis.
The drive here was breathtaking. So green and full of hills. Every time we crested a hill you could see miles and miles of hay fields, grazing lands, ostrich and sheep farms, winelands and forests. This part of South Africa is NOT how most Americans would visualize this continent. There were plenty of moments, as we wound out way through the pine covered hills, that I felt I was in the smokey mountains of KY or parts of Virginia.
We finally arrived at Asanti, which is like a hippie Afrikaaner camp ground complete with dreaded guys smoking hash and everyone walking around barefoot. Lots of tow headed children running around between what appears to be several different mothers. It’s like I’ve entered a grunge-like Arian love commune complete with nirvana being blasted in the common room. I taught the gang spades and while we waited for veggie lasagna to be prepared in a clay oven, we drank ciders and laughed our assess off. Tomorrow we go canoeing, kloofing and abseiling.
Tuesday, December 30:
We got up this morning, had a great breakfast, Dylan headed off for a whole day’s adventure and myself and the girls played cards until it was time to go abseiling. Kris introduced us to ‘shithead’ which is not my favorite card game ever! Jannis drove us to the adventure site and we headed into the canyon. It was breathtaking. Hanging off the side of this rocky cliff, hundreds of feet above a tidal pool. Abseiling is similar to repelling. We actually scaled down the cliff wall into the water. After a few times, some of us decided to swim and get in some kloofing - which is basically cliff diving. Mine was more like cliff cannon balling but at least now I can say I’ve ‘kloofed’.
We had decided to make pizza for dinner so we met up with Dylan afterwards to hit the store. Some drama went down over money then no one wante to make pizza anymore. There has been a lot of, well drama is the best word, going on with the 3 of them since I came into the picture I think it’s understandable when different personalities spend a lot of time together - especially when you are travelling. It hasn’t affected my vacation in any way, so I’m not really concerned.
The remainder of the night we played cards in a hash smoke infested pool room where I do believe I had somewhat of a contact buzz. It’s fun being the one not doing drugs in a crow of those partaking. It’s funny.
Wednesday, December 31:
Dylan and I spent 4 hours driving back to Cape Town through some of the most beautiful countryside I’ve ever seen. We got to Piet’s early and since he had lunch plans, we went to the beach for lunch. Piet drove us into town around 3 and I began the mad search for a place to rest my head. I only had to go to 2 places before I found something. I wish I had looked further. I was in a dorm room on the first floor directly next to the bar that was setting up the loud speakers for a party. Sleep? What is sleep? Lol.
Once I checked in and showered, I met up with the rest of the 27ers to figure out dinner. After deciding on the waterfront, we headed out. I had gotten an sms from a friend about a big street party in Green Point that I was considering attending, but at R400, I changed my mind.
We put our names in at an Italian place and hung outside with bottles of champaign in bags. We’re so classy, us PCVs. I really love these guys but am so aware of age when I hang with them.
We were finally seated inside when I got an sms from Justin telling me the party was only R250. I figured it was worth that much to hangout with a beer and be a little gay. I left my friends and headed to that part of town. The whole way there I questioned what I was doing leaving friends to hang with strangers on the final new years of my 30s. I walked past the various bars, noticing the cover charges and ended up with a cider at Manhattens. It seems to be the only one where you will find black African men. I sat alone, watching the crowd, realizing I was yet again, alone and melancholy knocked on the door. I just thought about my life and where I am and so on and started smiling. A really, big, shit-eating grin! I love my life and am very happy. It became clear that the only thing really missing was someone to share it with. This of course led me to think about Mark. And this led to me wanting to kiss a cute black boy to remind me of him. It didn’t happen. I was sitting on the curb, with a beer, alone when my phone told me it was 2009. It’s okay though. It really is.
I hung out pathetically there until around 1:30 then headed back to Long St. where I met up with the others and newbies that had arrived this week. We caught up, hung out til around 3:30 then all went home. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, my body shaking from the thump of the speakers, I wished everyone I knew a Happy New Year and drifted off.
Thursday, January 1 - Friday, January 2 (6 am):
New Years day was spent chilling and meandering. I went to breakfast at Rcafe for a ricotta stuffed omelet sandwich with chives on herb bread…delicious! I then hit an internet café for a bit before meeting up with the PCVs. The remainder of the day included lunch, Extreme Home Makeover and Chinese take-away.
I am sitting here this morning not being as introspective as I would have imagined. I know 40 is a milestone but right now it just feels like any other day. Age never has been an issue for me and I certainly don’t feel like I think I should. I guess the only thing I am contemplative about is why I’m alone at 40. I don’t think I’m lonely per se but I do want to share my life with someone and I wonder why it hasn’t happened yet. Well, I know why - my insecurities, my inability to commit - but I think I mean more about that ‘connection’ to someone that comes with full acceptance. That ‘match’ that I’ve felt on different levels in the past but why hasn’t’ it ‘stuck’? Am I too controlling? Not compromising? Too caught up in my own stuff? Too picky? Too judgmental? Yes, it’s probably call those things. Actually, even as I write all this, I realize I’m not all that concerned about it afterall. I won’t be 100% ready for a relationship until I heal and love myself enough to where I don’t ‘need’ one to fill any type of void. I feel closer to that place every day.
Friday, January 2 (the big 40!):
I don’t think I could have asked fro a better birthday. I intended to start with breakfast at Lola’s but they were not open so I had some yoghurt and muesli instead. Then, Nick, Milan and I went to the Turkish baths. Between the steam, sauna, and pool, I felt my pores open, release their toxins, and walked out refreshed and almost high. Nick and I decided to hunt for massages, but after no luck, had a lunch of greasy calamari and fish. We then perused the cxraft market for a bit before I split with them to head to the waterfront with Milan and Katie. There we boarded the ferry to Robbin Island to visit the prison where Mendella was incarcerated for 18 years. I thought it would be more emotional but between the ‘speed’ of the tour and the fact that I had never read his book, it was anti -climactic. The tour itself left you no time to just wander and absorb the history.
Once back at the Cape, we headed to the sushi place to meet up with the others. I proceeded to have the most delicious, extravagant meal I’ve had since I left the states. The fish was exquisite and I didn’t even flinch when my bill came to R300.
We grabbed Haagen Daaz afterwards and then walked to Green Point. The girls had never been to a gay bar so were full of questions and comments. Milan got cruised a lot and Nick even got a phone number but the birthday boy left that evening empty handed and without even a celebratory kiss, lol. We walked back to Long St. where I headed to bed.
Saturday, January 3:
I lost my camera today. The camera itself is not all that important but it’s loss is. First, every photo I’ve taken on my Cape Town holiday is gone. Second, I now have no means to take photos at my site. I’m upset but I’m not upset. It’s a strange thing. I truly am sad for those two reasons but then not as sad as I would have expected myself to be. I’m still trying to figure this one out.
I lost the camera hiking Table mountain. It was an amazing hike and the views were spectacular. I went up with Justin and Tom, 2 white South Africans. They semed like really nice guys. But then when they were taking me back to the hostel, we got stuck in some traffic caused by a carnival that was taking place It was some type of colored celebration. As people tried to cross the streets in front of us, the racist comments and name called began. I sat in uncomfortable silence. I wanted to say something but then was reminded of something Milan had said to me a few days earlier. ‘We don’t know their personal history’. True, I don’t. It still felt weird but then it occurred to me. I’ve been stuck in downtown Cincy during the Jazz festival before and though I never yelled obscenities at people, negative thoughts did fill my head. They were as blatant as this, but they were still comments directed at a specific group of people due to my own impatience. Are we all a little racist on some level due to our upbringing and society in general? It made me think of Mark and I. When people would discover he was black, there would sometimes be comments - not negative, just acknowledgment of him being black. I used to always say that ‘I don’t see color, I just see Mark’. I read an article in a local rag where a few days ago discussing that very thing. A black person was upset when someone said that. She commented, ‘Why wouldn’t you see my color?’. We are, as Americans, sometime so sanitized to be politically correct. To not see race. But to choose not to see it means we are not acknowledging our differences and in the process, eliminating what makes each of us special. It’s as though we are trying to homogenize the entire human race into a new category - but isn’t NOT labeling and judging people for their differences the main goal? I really understand the phrase celebrate diversity now. In order to fully accept another person you have to acknowledge their uniqueness.
Even with myself, I’ve always said that I’m neither ashamed nor proud of my sexuality - it’s just a part of who I am. But…it IS a part of who I am and not wanting people to necessarily know it outright tells me I may still have some shame in it. I’ve always liked the ft hat s people can’t ‘tell’ from looking at me. I’ve even felt lucky because of it. But that’s shame and embarrassment, isn’t it? If I truly, deep down, was 100% okay with who I was, it really wouldn’t matter if they could tell or not. I love realizations like this but then sometimes, when you think you’ve worked so hard on yourself, you dig a layer deeper and find more shit. The road to fully loving oneself is very long. I just hope I have the patience for it.
Sunday, January 4 - Tuesday, January 6:
Sunday was a chilled out day. It had to be - my legs were on fire! For whatever reason I can’t remember the rest of the day. Mark has been on my brain lately. I’m not sure if I mentioned this or not but I sent him an email a few days back - spilling my heart. I basically told him that I was in love with him still and wanted to try a long distance relationship. What was I expecting his response to be? It took him a few days to get back to me and I was a little sad - though understanding - of his unwillingness. He asked me how I knew I loved him. He then created a list of his reasons why he loved me. I sat there starring at them. They were all about him actually. I wanted to write back an tell him I know I loved him cause I felt it, but I thought I’d come up with a list as well. My list was ALL about him. I found that interesting. It then made me wonder - do our lists mesh?
I’m having my doubts that they do. I fear that Mark is in his head when it comes to me. His reasons were all things he did - he respected me, he worked hard to improve our relationship, he tried to make me happy every day - none of those are really about me. These email exchanges have shed some interesting light on our relationship.
Monday I had breakfast at Rcafe then went to the movies to see ‘Australia’. I then was picked up by Lwazi, a black South African, who was letting me cras at his place. This was very educational. His father is the major of Durban and he’s met Oprah. He’s had a very different experience than most blacks here. His house (that he only uses 2 months out of the year) is spectacular. I talked his ear off about race relations, especially within the gay community. Fascinating.
I heard again from Mark with a more intimate list of reasons why he loved me. I have no doubt that he has and does. I just wonder if there’s a chance for us to start anew at some point in the future.
Today, Lwazi drove me back to the Cape, I checked into Abantu for the night, met up with Nick, Heather and Natalie and hung for the day. I went and got my nose pierced before going for my tattoo. I love my new ink though I do wish I would have gotten the ‘ohm’ symbol in red. We went to dinner at a fantastic Ethiopian restaurant then grabbed a drink at Marvel. Overall, a perfect last night in the Cape.
Wednesday, January 7:
We got up early, packed up, grabbed breakfast, hiked to the train station, missed our train, found a minibus and got dropped off along the highway to begin our journey home. We were trying for about 90 minutes with nothing. We then decided Nick and I should stay hidden and just let the girls hike. Within minutes we had our first ride going 80k out of town. On the way there I sent a thank you sms to Piet and low and behold, he was 5 minutes from us on his way to vacation.
He offered 2 of us a ride 300k and though I was set to take it, the others were nervous about hiking alone in SA. I thanked Piet and apologized and sent him on his way. Within minutes a sheep truck stopped and Heather, not liking to turn down rides if people stop, accepted a 35k ride with Nick and I IN the back WITH the sheep. He was shat on several times during that. One for the books I supposed. Our next hike took us 20 minutes to get and 30k further. I kept thinking that if this was how we were creeping back to Windhoek, it would take a week.
At the next place, we grabbed food at a petrol station, then back to the road. After a bit, 4 PCVs who had rented a car stopped by and had room for both of Nick’s marimbas. Moments after, we were picked up by 2 young Afrikaaners going all the way to Windhoek - BUT…over the course of several days. They would take us to about 200k south of Keets. Good enough.
Last night, after spending almost 2 hours getting through customs at the border, we camped along the river. I slept outside, without a tent to the sound of the nearby water. It was wonderful.
Thursday, January 8 - Friday, January 9:
We got up and packed the truck and headed out. We had planned on getting out at the petrol station and hiking from there. Jacob said he could drop us outside Keets but he was going to drive through the canyons a bit to show Carla and did we want to tag along. Sure!
The desert was amazing, hot and beautiful. AT one point we found ourselves at a lodge where we snuck in and swam for a bit. Jacob then showed us on the map where his grandfather’s game ranch was and said that we were welcome to stay the night and go to Sossusvlei the next day with them. It took me a split second to say yes while the others pondered.
We drove to the ranch which seemed to be located at the edge of the world. Once there, we jumped in a water tank/pool to cool off. The place was deserted. It was opulent - leather couches, satellite TV, beds with pillows, lol. I had been thinking on the drive out there that who in their right mind would want to live in the desert…even more isolated than I had felt in Mpungu? But that evening, with the sunset and the cool breeze - I understood what the draw was. We made sandwiches, had some wine and then I slept on the ground again. It was too nice not to.
We got up, packed and headed to Sossusvlei. On the way we stopped at a lodge for breakfast. And what did we do after breakfast you might ask? We went in a pen with 3 full grown cheetahs and petted them. OMG! When does shit like this happen? It goes down as one of the most amazing experiences of my life. They were purring so loudly, licking our hands and nibbling our fingers. Damn. (I’m sure they were thinking - tastes like chicken!), lol
We then drove to the dunes - the oldest desert on the planet to be exact. It’s called the world’s largest sandbox. Again…beautiful and amazing. We climbed one of the smaller dunes which was difficult enough. The sand was burning hot and the angle very steep. We went from there to a lodge for a drunk and though we wanted to sneak into their pool - we did not. We began our journey back towards Moltehore. The 3 of them decided, at 7 pm, to go to the petrol station and try to hike to Mariental. I had had enough for one day, so here I was, alone at the backpackers. The only guest, sitting at a table, watching the sun set, listening to my Ipod and journaling. I’m actually tearing up because I am so happy…so at peace. This ends one of the most amazing vacations I’ve ever taken. I’m ready to go home to my village and complete my final year with the Peace Corps. PC is the greatest thing I’ve ever chosen to do with my life on so many levels. I hope I can take this calmness and contentedness back to the states with me.
Saturday, January 10:
Got up early, showered, paid my bill and headed into ‘town’. As I looked around, I began to fear that my chances of getting out were going to be slim. The previous night I had had an interesting conversation with David - the French guy who owns the place - and his mother. It’s funny to me how I’ve been afraid most of my life to engage people on a daily basis. I’ve realized that when you don’t, you miss out on SO much.
Within an hour I got a lift to Mariental. I thought I was going to have to pay ut it was free. Could I really make it to and from Cape Town with NO money? Hells yeah I could! I grabbed some breakfast at Wimpy’s. My new year’s resolution to eat healthier is very difficult to keep when hitchhiking through Africa, lol. I snagged a ride to Windhoek in about 20 minutes and arrived few hours later.
I got dropped off in front of Chameleon just as Thea was walking out and though they were full, she had an extra bed and invited me to sleep in her room. We ran by the PC office, then grabbed lunch at the craft market with some other PCVs. Then it was back to Chameleon for a swim and some chillin’. Later, some of us went for pizza while others went to Joe’s beer house. Afterwards, Catherine and I came back for a movie and everyone else went to a wine bar. I was happy to be in bed before 10.
Sunday, January 11 - Tuesday, January 13:
Sunday was spent meeting up with the other PCVs at the office and waiting around for transport to Graeter’s. Once there, we swam, caught up, had dinner, and began the huge movie swap. Over the next two days we sat through many sessions that bored us and drove us a little crazy. Again, the most important thing was collecting new movies, lol. It’s been great seeing everyone and sharing our successes and non-success (I’m learning no to call them failures). I feel like I am in such a different place than I was a year ago. No anxiousness. Very little fear. I am more pumped to return to site and knock-em dead with my energy. This next year is going to ROCK!
Wednesday, January 14 - Thursday, January 15:
The last couple of days in Windhoek have been okay. I did some work for VSN, hung out with the others that have to stay behind an used the internet. I have to stay an extra week to have a crown replaced. I remember when I first arrived in Namibia that I thought I would travel to the big city more often because I would need to - emotionally, that is. But I am really ready to get back to the village. I miss it. Besides, when you are out of money and there are no good movies playing at the theater, what else can you do here? Lol
Friday, January 16:
More Windhoek today. It dawned on me that I could have hiked to Swakopmund for 5 more days of the beach before my appt. on Monday. That was really silly of me.
Saturday, January 17 -Tuesday, January 21:
So…more days in Windhoek - biding my time between the internet, TV and the mall. Sounds like I’m back in the states, eh? Had my dentist appt. and I am ready to go.
I took a ride up one of the big hills overlooking Windhoek with a friend the other night. It was quiet and the lights were beautiful. It made me miss home - my new home, Mpungu.
I’ve been seeing a lot of the inauguration stuff on TV and that’s been amazing. I hope I make it to Rundu on Tuesday in time to see his speech. I do find it interesting that so many Africans are thinking that Obama is going to come to their rescue. He has enough on his plate with our country to handle first. We need to strengthen the US before we can reach out to other nations again. This wonderful man has so much on his shoulders. He will be in my thoughts daily.
Got to the hike point early and got a ride to Otavi within 15 minutes. A sweet elderly guy. Once there, I waited about an hour for a ride to Groot - the black hole. There, I waited about 90 minutes and got a ride in a semi. They are always comfortable and reliable but take longer because they cannot go faster than 80k an hour.
I mae it to Rundu at 6:30, got a taxi to Rachel’s principals house with time to spare before the swearing in. It was nice to see it with other Americans. The only problem was that his Afrikaaner wife kept interjecting her thoughts and opinions. She and I butted heads about 9/11. She kept saying I’ve been brainwashed - I just wanted to smack her. She’s not even American, so I felt she didn’t have a right to argue, lol.
I’ve talked to Mr. Kuwema about transport but I have to stay another day in Rundu. I’ll be home by Thursday…Thank God.
Thursday, January 22 - Wednesday, January 28:
I finally arrived back at site today. I took all day to figure out transport and I wound up unloading a shit load of stuff into my flat at 8:30pm. My house was intact with a few new cobwebs here and there. I was exhausted but went and chatted with my neighbors a bit before heading to bed.
Friday was spent unpacking everything - donated stuff as well as my 10 Christmas packages! I am so blessed! I scored as well as my OVCs. I discovered that someone had cut our hose for the garden. It’s weird. They didn’t just steal the hose. They took a portion of it and now it’s not long enough to reach certain things. Sucks. My personal garden was a mess. Most everything has died and it was full of weeds. Guess my neighbor didn’t really want the R20 a week I had promised her. The big garden was in decent shape. The corn is growing well and so are the tomatoes and butternut squash. Yes, my initial reaction was…why isn’t it over flowing with bounty? Lol. But I’ve learned to appreciate the little things and make them huge!
I spent the weekend just cleaning my flat and organizing with a movie and a video game thrown in from time to time.
Monday I worked from my flat and I honestly can’t remember what I accomplished. Tuesday prepared for my OVCs. They were really excited for me to be back. I brought up the idea of breaking into 2 smaller groups - older and younger - and they jumped on it. This ultimately creates more work for me but it’s easier work. It was getting too difficult to find things to fit all the age ranges. I introduced the point system to them. It’s a way for them to earn points on behavior, grades, attendance, etc. that they can spend on school supplies and fun stuff. They LOVED the idea and LOVE seeing the chart on the wall with their names and the points they are collecting. We watched Charlotte’s Web and took it easy.
Today, I prepared for the first day of the older group. Once again my translator was very late but one of the kids took over and did it. Damien…he’s amazing! They created posters about ‘what I want my life to look like when I’m older’. They cut out pictures from magazines. It was great fun to watch them work. Many of the guys cut out pictures of hot cars and sexy white women, lol. The girls cut out pictures of nice clothes, attractive black men, pictures of families, etc. It’s funny…no matter where in the world you find yourself, those gender differences are apparent at such an early age.
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